Hi everyone
I just wondered if I was the only one who has found their mother very difficult during pregnancy?
My mum and I have had some problems over the last few years. I live 600 miles from her and I think the crux of it is that she feels like she’s cut out of my life. She’s not and there has been no decrease in contact or visits over years. What has happened is that she has retired and is in unhappy marriage with my dad. She’s changed as a person and she vents her frustrations very passive aggressively and creates a very toxic atmosphere.
I am pregnant with my first child. We had a massive fight before Xmas she said I’d cut her out of my life and I told her how hard I found her behaviour. I used to have s good relationship with her but feel like I’m being punished for moving away. We both said stuff that needed said and I thought it would clear the air. It hasn’t. It’s got worse.
Now when I speak to her the sniping at me, the passive aggression is worse than ever. I’m trying really hard to include her in everything in this pregnancy, confided my fears, told her about every appointment I’ve made, what was said, how much weigh I’ve gsined. I can’t do anything else. I also invited her to stay to which she replied ‘ you don’t really want me coming I’m sure you’d rather spend your precious time with someone you actually like, so I will decline.”
She is obviously still dealing from our argument. I don’t want to go digging it up again. As far as I’m concerned the matter is closed and it’s time to move on. Plus I’m 4,5 months pregnant. I don’t need this stress. What i need is my mum.
I’ve acknowledged her feelings even though I don’t agree with them. She’s not acknowledged mine but I just want to move on.
I’m really anxious about this and worrying is not good for me or the baby. What to do. It hurst my feelings that she can’t I’ve on for the baby if not me.