emotional affair

[smellysocksandstickysweets]

Where's the line?!
I'm in an unhappy relationship, I'm planning to leave but for financial reasons its going to be a while.

But I've met someone online through a mutual hobby and really clicked. Haven't exchanged numbers or surnames yet but I want to get to know him better. How far is too far?!

I know honesty is the best policy but I also need to keep myself in the best personal situation I can.

I've at least made the decision to leave him!
Have you though? If you had you'd actually have left. You're making excuses.

I actually think its be easier if he cheated coz then I could take the moral high ground and kick him out and deal with the house situation further down the line.
That's not taking the moral high ground. You're living with a man you don't love, who doesn't know you don't love him and you're planning on ending the relationship. And you're only there because he's financially supporting you. That's not a moral high ground at all OP! You need to tell this poor fella what you're actually doing, stringing him along for his wallet until you're in a position to leave him, uproot the family and get your teeth into another fella you're keeping on the back burner who might not even like you in the same way as you've never actually met him

At the moment my children are better off in a shared parent household with the benefits that brings. The fact that I am unhappy is not reason enough to destroy that yet. Its not excuse.
I am not stringing him along, he equally choses to stay. I have not started any form of relationship with anyone else, I've just realised there are people out there who would be preferential to loving in an unhappy relationship.

The only benefits to me leaving are purely selfish ones hence the delay.

I can empathise OP. I actually made the same decision. With no reason to make my husband leave except my unhappiness, it wasn't a good enough reason to do it. I could see no prospect of me ever being happier even when he'd gone, so him staying for the benefit of the kids seemed immensely sensible. In the end, he made the decision and left.

I actually regret it immensely. I wish I had made him leave four years earlier when I first knew the love was gone. It is only with hindsight that I can see the children actually suffered further- and all the missed chances for happiness that I could have had myself.

Please don't stay just for those reasons. Get your ducks in order and sort out your life.

he equally choses to stay.
He's staying because he believes he is in a loving relationship with a partner who feels the same.

Children can, and will pick up on your unhappiness. For everyone's sake you need to be honest and sort it out.

At the moment my children are better off in a shared parent household with the benefits that brings

So you ask your partner if that’s an option for a while.

You’re expecting him not only to bank role you but also denying him the chance to make his own choices which could be to coparent with you but knowing he’s not committed to you if he thinks it’s best for the kids.

What gives you the right to make all the decisions, have all the power, and impose your will on others.

My own mother did the same and said she wasn’t happy, used me as an excuse not to leave and played the martyr card when in reality she wasn’t ready to jump.

he equally choses to stay

Yes, because as you admit he is blissfully unaware you want to leave or have an affair!

Pretty sure he wouldn't be so enthusiastic if he knew you were planning on cheating.