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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Finished with dp... 19 year relationship.

10 replies

NickyNora · 05/02/2018 00:52

Been here too many times.

I have no idea how I will cope. 4 dc. 2 disabled. No job. No money. No family. Literally nothing!

But I'm so unhappy. Dp doesn't support me or care for me. I've wasted the best years of my life with him. I just can't continue in this miserable existence.

Don't know why I'm even posting this!!

OP posts:

Kerberos · 05/02/2018 00:53

Big hugs. It's scary and we are here.

Original poster

NickyNora · 05/02/2018 01:10

I'm regretting saying it already. Should have shut up & gone to bed.

I feel so stressed now.

OP posts:

Squeegle · 05/02/2018 01:14

Hey nicky, sorry you’re feeling so stressed. Sounds like you have done the right thing. Have you got other support as well as your ex DP?

ferrier · 05/02/2018 01:17

If he doesn't support you what's the point in staying with him?

letsdolunch321 · 05/02/2018 01:23

Hugs to you.

Take everyday as it comes

Burstingwithlife · 05/02/2018 01:24

We are all here. Firstly there is lots of help out there. Secondly your likely to get a break a least sometimes providing ex partner would like to see his children. Thirdly, you are stressed anxious and really upset at the moment so of course you will feel you can’t cope. You have to remember that you will be moving away from an unsupported environmentbto one where you will have support and some control back. You’ll feel empowered and will see all your achievements big and small. Far less misery. You can do this. Roll your sleeves up and make some sos calls tomorrow to get things sorted. Chat to your gp. They can offer loads of support and advise in the right direction. If you dc are young, chat to your health visitor etc. Here anytime x

Original poster

NickyNora · 05/02/2018 01:26

No other support.

Brutal reality is I need him.

Ds 9, only goes to school for 3 hrs a day. I get no respite.

OP posts:

Original poster

NickyNora · 05/02/2018 01:31

Seriously, there is no support out there.
Both boys in special schools. Tbey get DLA. Thats it.
GP increases my A.D at every appointment.

Dp can't cope with both ds. He's not taken them both out in a few years. I won't be a me to stay here. It's rented.

I need to go to bed.

Thanks for the replies.

OP posts:

ferrier · 05/02/2018 11:15

Still here Nora if you want to talk ....
Tell us a bit more about what's happened and what you need to cope with the situation.

Lovemusic33 · 05/02/2018 11:24

I split from my dh 3 years ago, we have 2 children, both disabled and I was petrified of going at it alone but it hasn’t been too bad at all. I’m not sure if I could have done it without the DLA, I wasn’t working before as it was hard to secure a job when I had so many hospital appointments for the dc’s as well as battling with LEA for special needs school for one dd (I got there in the end without dh’s Help), I now have a good part time job which helps pay the bills and the dc’s are both settled in new schools. I don’t get much support from the dc’s dad, he will look after them once a week whilst I’m on a late shift and sees them for a few hours at the weekend but he struggles due to their disabilities (he was always in denial about it), he struggles taking them out and finds them embarrassing.

Splitting up wasn’t easy but I’m glad I did it, 3 years on and things are much more relaxed, the dc’s are happy and settled and I love being single and not having to worry about the extra (man) child.

Flip