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Relationships

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Original poster

Would you date a younger man?

24 replies

Happygilmore1 · 04/02/2018 23:02

So I’ve been at a new job for about 6 months now and have made friends with everyone especially this guy that works there the thing is I’m 27 and he’s 21 (22 next month) he’s asked me out twice now but I’m not sure, all my other relationships have been with men older than me so it’s not the age gap that bothers me more the fact that I’m the older one, I guess I’m worried what others will think and am looking for some honest opinions/experiences. To be fair I’m quite young for my age I still feel about 21 but I don’t know if this justifies it?

OP posts:

LittleLights · 04/02/2018 23:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThisLittleKitty · 04/02/2018 23:13

I wouldn't myself and 21 would be far too young for me. But then I'm very mature (29) we would be on very different levels.

RandomMess · 04/02/2018 23:15

Why not, if you get on, why not date for a bit and see if he's mature enough for you?

NewtScamandersNaughtyNiffler · 04/02/2018 23:16

Yep. DP is 7 years younger than me.

Bloomed · 04/02/2018 23:17

I did but it didn't work out.

Myddognearlyatethedeliveryman · 04/02/2018 23:19

I am 46,dh is 37. Been together over 5 years, married with a ds. I had other dc when we met.

JacintaJones · 04/02/2018 23:21

My Dp is almost eight years younger than me, we met when I was 28 and he was 20, been together almost seven years.
I’d previously only been with men over a decade older than me so if anything I notice the age gap far less than in my previous relationships.

I’d go so far as to say that my preference would now be slightly younger than myself.

Try it OP, it’s not a big deal honestly.

Sassy306 · 04/02/2018 23:36

My dp was 19 and I was 28 when we got together and now 5 years on we are expecting our first dc and still very much in love. It all depends on how compatible you are. You won't known for sure unless you give it a go :)

Cricrichan · 04/02/2018 23:40

It's only 5 years so I don't see the problem!

Jellybean2017 · 04/02/2018 23:46

Yes and married him and now have a son 😊 four year gap, met when DH was 20. I'm now approaching 31.

ButteredScone · 04/02/2018 23:47

You don’t need to marry him - just go on a date.

Crushedwhite · 04/02/2018 23:49

Yes I would if I liked him, his age wouldn’t matter.

HMC2000 · 04/02/2018 23:51

I'm 51. DH is 39. Been together 15 years, have 1 dc. Works for us! It's about individuals, not numbers. He'd been told by his family for years that he'd be happiest with an older woman, and people take me for at least 10 years younger than I am. Looks weird on paper, looks fine in rl. One date won't do any harm!

BackforGood · 04/02/2018 23:57

Yup, and our marriage is nearly at SIlver Wedding status.

Thing being, he's asking you on a date, not to commit to the next 60 years together.

If you don't think it will make things awkward at work (and that is quite a big thing to consider, about sating someone you are going to have to work with, if it doesn't work out, whatever the age gap, or whichever way round it is), thn go on a date, get to know each other a bit, and see how it goes. You may well find it doesn't work on so many levels, but, OTOH, you might find 'he's the one'. You'll never know if you don't try.
Do think through the colleague thing though.

Cuddlesandcannulas · 04/02/2018 23:58

That's the same age gap as DH and I have.

Some older men are little boys. Some younger men have a wise head on their shoulders. You can't generalise what he'll be like due to his age. If you're interested in him, get to know him better to see what he's like.

Don't worry what other people think. You're the one on the date, not them. No-one has ever said anything about the age difference with DH and I.

SandyY2K · 05/02/2018 00:45

Depends on what you're looking for. A bit if fun..maybe.
For something serious I wouldn't.

At 27 I was looking for a serious relationship...I wouldn't think a 21 year old guy was on the same page ..so I'd not go there.

rightknockered · 05/02/2018 00:53

I was about to say that it isn't much of an age gap. But I remember being 29 and having no interest in men 4 or 5 years younger than me. Early 20's to late 20's is when most people grow up properly, leave uni, start training for careers and then think about settling down in their late 20's. It depends on what you're both looking for.

mindutopia · 05/02/2018 06:15

Go for it. When I met my dh I was 27, turning 28 in 2 months, and he was 21. He was funny and I enjoyed hanging out with him but I never in a million years would have considered a relationship with such a large age gap before (frankly I had mostly been dating guys in their mid 30s who all turned out to be immature assholes!). But we just clicked (met through mutual work friends who were dating when we went out for drinks with them). He was just such a great guy and we immediately became friends and started dating about a month later. I swore it would never be anything more than casual but hoped at least when it ended we could stay friends. Probably 7 months later we started to talk marriage and a future (just before he turned 22!). We were married almost 3 years exactly after we met. 10 years later we have a 5 year old dd and baby #2 is due any moment.

I think what made it work was he genuinely wasn’t an immature asshole. He wasn’t a typical lad. He didn’t really feel like he wanted 10 more years on the pull. So a serious relationship and settling down at that age suited him. We’re in our 30s now and the age difference isn’t noticeable at all. He’s probably more mature and together than I am most days!

So I wouldn’t be put off by the age difference alone. You never know!

RandomMess · 05/02/2018 07:32

I've only just remembered that DH was 22 and me 27 when we met, been together 18 years!!

Again he wasn't interested in going out getting hammered etc

Chorkie96 · 05/02/2018 10:36

I'm 35 and dp is 21 we were 34 and 19 when we met 🤭 I was in no way looking for anyone when we met (11 years by myself not without admirers or offers but no one interested me) and certainly not someone that much younger. I've always been attracted to older men, tall men, dark haired, dark eyes (you see where I'm going with this) . He is the opposite of all of those things blonde, blue eyes, shorter than me and the age of course it's not something I can explain why but something in me just knew I had to be with him when I met him. He is very mature in some ways and has some very immature moments (sulky teenage moments) but my dad is near 60 and still has those so I guess that's not that unusual lol.

autumnleaves101 · 06/02/2018 09:05

Yes, I am 27 and my dp is 23. I never thought it would be serious but 4 years later we are together and very happy! Like others have said dp has never really wanted to go out drinking every weekend etc like other young men at that age.

Thinkingofausername1 · 06/02/2018 09:10

I'd always Be cautious that he would go for a younger model.
however you've got nothing to loose from suggesting a coffee. You never know; he could turn out to be a good friend; if there is no 'chemistry.'

StewPots · 06/02/2018 09:16

Yes, and I married one. 6 years between DH and and I, but he was pretty mature at 19 when I met him.

BitchQueen90 · 06/02/2018 09:28

Depends on the situation. I'm 27 and a single parent, I wouldn't dream of going out with a 21 year old but that's purely because I would think a 21 year old would want to be out having fun, not staying in every weekend with me and my young DS. If I didn't have a child then I don't see the harm.

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