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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I want a divorce

18 replies

MoreSpamThanGlam · 30/04/2007 13:54

I have 3 kids, a house with no equity and a husband that basically gambles with our finances and always loses and i cant do this any more.

ive had enough

i want to find somewhere to live.

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 30/04/2007 13:57

Mm, how about the gambling husband finds somewhere to live and you stay put?

Original poster
MoreSpamThanGlam · 30/04/2007 13:58

No money to pay for where we are...mortgage is screwed.

OP posts:
mumblechum · 30/04/2007 14:05

Are you working full time? If not, you'd prob. get housing benefit (after a long wait) to pay the interest element of the mortgage. You have to apply to your local council for it. If there's no equity in the house the court would almost certainly transfer it over to you but of course you'd have to have something in place to pay the mortgage, eg your salary OR housing benefit, child maintenance (25% of dh's salary,) tax credits, spousal maintenance, child benefit, lone parent benefit.

It can be done but you're going to struggle. Agree with prev. poster, he's the one that should be going, not you.

After all that, I hope he comes home with a nice pressie & flowers for your birthday & you make up.

Original poster
MoreSpamThanGlam · 30/04/2007 14:28

He may well come home with something, but its like I have woken from a "walking in treacle" dream.
I have had enough and we are in such dire straights. Our mortgage is interest only and it is wait for it....£2898 pcm. We are with a dodgy company, after meeting a financial advisor that DH thought was ok (he was a dickhead and I said so then) Its a long story and one that I went with because he said he knew better and ignored my pleas.

I have a 6 mo baby and am suffering quite badly from pnd, but I feel such a strong urge to get out of this rut.

We have not had any money for a long time (3 yrs) and everything I am wearing (except knickers) is second hand. Even 6 mo is wearing bootfair bargains and playing with donated toys.

My alcoholic mother has said she will look after baby if i pay her and i go back to work part time .

OP posts:
Original poster
MoreSpamThanGlam · 30/04/2007 14:29

He takes home £3k pcm...Im sick of the juggling, the letters, the bailiffs, the courts...the bloody lot of it.

OP posts:
TenaLady · 30/04/2007 14:30

You certainly could do with a new life!

TenaLady · 30/04/2007 14:31

Get yourself up the Citizens Advice Bureau, they can advise on how to freeze and get help with your money worries. Whilst there ask about housing too.

mumblechum · 30/04/2007 14:34

Blimey, it's hard, isn't it, because if you sell the house, the housing people may say you've made yourself intentionally homeless.
I'd still be calling the estate agents in, though, the house obviously has to go.

littlemissbossy · 30/04/2007 14:34

I second go to Citizens Advice
BTW you can claim working family tax credit for childcare expenses but for a childminder or nursery - not your mother - which doesn't sound a great idea TBH
Good luck

Original poster
MoreSpamThanGlam · 30/04/2007 17:25

Ahh...but we have to pat family tax credits £5k back because he wont get our accounts from accountants to prove we had no income...blah blah blah.

Im cornered.

Bankruptcy and divorce is the answer

OP posts:
mumblechum · 01/05/2007 13:33

Bump for you MGTS.
Are you still feeling the same or are you feeling more positive today? Feel free to email me on [email protected] (I'm a divorce lawyer but not touting for business - you may need pointing in the direction of a local lawyer if it comes to it).

lulumama · 01/05/2007 13:34

i cannot believe your mortgage payment

what a terrible situation

based on your other thread, i think divorce and bankrupcy will enable you to start afresh and have some semblance of a life

really sorry though

x

mumto3girls · 01/05/2007 13:43

Sorry to hear of your troubles. I agree that you need to escape from this nightmare life!

How on earth did you get in the position of having mortgage payments as large as your income?

Don't worry about your dc though, they don't care what clothes they wear!

Scree · 01/05/2007 13:54

God, what a nightmare, I'm so sorry for you.
Bankrupcy sounds hideous, but some bankrupcies are written off sooner than you think. You may qualify for an individual voluntary arrangement which would be a gentler solution than bankrupcy, but I really don't know much about either of these things, just may be worth finding out about them. OH does know a bit about them, so if you're interested I could ask him for you.

sarahfoss · 23/02/2009 14:27

Scree is right. You may qualify for an individual voluntary arrangement but it might be best to take a look at the Citizens Advice Bureau before you make any big decisions.

emmejayne7 · 08/05/2009 13:47

i have been married 7 years and my hubby is 7 years older than me im 28 he is 35 we have two beutiful boys one 8 and one 8 months .all me and my hubby do is argue as soon a he see me he shouts and is verbally absive to me i work part time and do everything in the house he does not lift a finger and all he does is says im useless and fat .i have had enough now and want him out but dont no how i will cope money side as i only work part time i will have to give up.also how do get him out the house as both names are on tenacy agreement.what shell i do dont want kids growing up without there dad around but my happiness comes first too im in a pickle .

welshbyrd · 08/05/2009 13:56

think you need to do a thread of your own emmejayne, not meaning that in a nasty way, 2 problems, one thread? that way peoples replies, will be directly for you and your circumstances

goodluck

NKfffffffffbc3697cX121112e9527 · 12/05/2009 18:38

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