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Relationships

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What would be a fair division of labour in this circumstance?

26 replies

Fitbitironic · 04/02/2018 00:43

I know it's been done to death before, so I'm just asking about this particular situation, if you think it's a fair divide and if not, how it could/should be rearranged. TIA.

Parent A: sahp, has well paid (but very time intensive) contract work three months of the year. Sahp rest of time. Does everything (house/garden/kids/pet/organisation etc) bar those mentioned below. (Worth noting that when parent B is 'in charge' for those 3 months the very minimum is done (eg no cleaning of bathrooms, little laundry) by B.

Parent B: WOH from 6am-6pm due to commute time. Comes home to evening meal ready. Reads bedtime story to one DC. Picks up takeaway one night a week, cooks sat/sun if not eating out or having takeout. Does the dishwasher each night (a recent thing) but doesn't clean up kitchen. Mows lawn maybe ten times a year max, doesn't do edges or sweep up all clippings. Puts kitchen bins out and big bins to kerb. A returns them. Will do some things if specifically asked (eg book car service), but rarely without being prompted a few times, unless it's for their own motorbike, which A can't ride :). Will get clothes for DC on a weekend if not done by A already. Sometimes picks up a few groceries on the way home from his weekend (me time) hobby.

I didn't list everything A does. You know how it goes. Mental load, plus all not mentioned in section B. Even to the extent of clearing away empty shopping bags left lying around by B/DC.

Fair/needs changing?

OP posts:
Oilyoilyoilgob · 05/02/2018 21:38

I’d check your local Facebook selling sites/booklets/paper etc.....Our gardener comes on an ‘as and when basis’ and I’m certain you’ll find someone who realises it’ll be quieter in the winter months but then you could get them in weekly/fortnightly/monthly as the weather picks up. Ours has done this so we haven’t seen him since the beginning of December but he knows we’ll be booking him in come spring.
Same with a cleaner, I told ours that it’s be weekly for the first four weeks then fortnightly but I’ve kept her at weekly 😃 she’s a godsend-just knowing the big jobs will be sorted is ace, then if there’s time the smaller jobs too.
To go upstairs to a deep cleaned bathroom/hoovering/windows/skirting boards etc just feels a relief at this point in time as I have practically zero time to dedicate to these jobs.
Now we’re in the swing of it our one day off together might be sometimes spent doing chores but just general tidying bits away which gives us proper quality time-I guarantee you’ll both feel so much better if you got some help 😊

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