Privacy within a relationship

[RockPaperCut]

Not a TAAT. Is it reasonable to expect a certain level of privacy within a relationship? I’ve just read a post where it was described as abusive to prevent a partner from discussing the relationship with others.

In my case, my STBXH amongst many other things would discuss my Pre/ post labour, gyne issues, PND anxiety issues with his parents. So much so that my ex FIL would ask me about some gyne procedures I was having, over Sunday lunch! As an incredibly private person I found this a huge violation of my privacy and trust. But now thinking about it was I being reasonable in asking him not to. 🤨

I would have gone apeshit had my EXH mentioned this to his family.

Procedures/delicate situations should be discussed amongst you two only.

His responce is that by stopping him from discussing my health issues, I prevented his family from supporting him.

Personally I feel that's too much and not something I'd be comfortable with with either. I can understand him needing emotional support too but he could have mentioned it without giving specific details. There is a difference between:

"X went to Tesco" .
"X went to Tesco at 4.15pm on Saturday.She spent £23,21 and bought potatoes, condoms, lemons, garlic ..... "

I guess it’s no longer relevant, but it’s good to know for future relationships.

Ex has absolutely zero filter and very little insight. Going by the conversations with FIL I got the impression he had a pretty good understanding of the procedures I was having. The thing that annoyed me the most was that I didn’t even tell my own family yet he was out discussing it with everyone.

I'm afraid I am somewhat like your ex, OP. People have to spell out what they want me to keep secret otherwise I am the worst blabbermouth in history.