Practicalities of separating

[ShoutyMcShoutFace]

I'm wondering if people who have been through this can give me some pointers on how to actually physically get out of a shared home and life? Had massive row with husband this morning and I really feel like it's the last straw and I can't go on putting my kids through this experience.

I can't afford the mortgage on my own so I'll have to be the one to move. We are already separate rooms but do I need to stay in the house until it's all sorted or can I move out now? I have no savings so no way I can buy but have a vague plan of hoping to rent for a year while everything settles down. Can I rent while still being liable for a mortgage? I can get limited funding together for deposits etc but I've no idea how to go about furnishing a whole property- even the basics are going to add up significantly. How do you decide what can be taken from the joint home? I can't see him letting me take things out oftm the house but still need to have the crunch talks to see what his position is.
I don't want to be a dick about it but we can't live together anymore. Can't parent together. He is a good dad but we disagree on everything. He took his last ex straight to court to get an order for shared residence. I expect he will want to do the same unless I can talk him down.
Sorry I'm rambling I just don't know where to start.

Just a hopeful bump.
Am putting DD to bed and then need to go and face him after a very tense day ignoring each other and tip toeing around. I've been here before and always end up conflict avoiding and burying everything.
Need he courage to go and actually lay my cards on the table.

You need legal advice. Go see a solicitor and get advice as to what you can reasonably expect.

If you both own the house and are on the mortgage then you will remain legally liable for paying the mortgage whether you are there or not.

Do you have children together? If so there will be maintenance for the dc to be considered.

Whatever you do don't offer to move out before you've had advice.

If you don't want to continue as a couple and have moved to separate rooms, have a conversation about no longer being together but cohabiting until you both know how you will proceed which will mean discussing not making family meals/doing family washing/ cleaning etc (if you both work). Try and agree how you can live together as housemates rather than as a couple so that he understands that you are not going to continue to clean up after him (if you have been doing so).

If you have children together agree how you are going to split childcare whilst you continue to cohabit.

I have very recently been in a similar situation; three months ago I split up with my husband, but in my case he left and I stayed in the house, and we are in the middle of divorce proceedings now.

First thing - you must see a solicitor. Try and find one that's been recommended by friends/family if possible; if not, try a few out to find one you feel comfortable with and supported by (you can often get a free first half-hour). You may well be surprised by what you are entitled to; for example, you may be able to stay in the house until your youngest child is 18.

Don't rush or panic. Take your time.

Good luck.

Cross posted with redastherose!