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Original poster

Male friend acting strangely

13 replies

immonicaimdisgusting · 03/02/2018 00:44

Have a friend i’ve known for years who I originally met through my brother and see fairly frequently in a group

He has always been 100% platonic - never anything at all flirty or anything like that but the last few times i’ve seen him he’s seemed completely different with me - I wouldn’t call it flirting but constant innuendos, talking about sex and apparently made comments to my brother about my body (don’t think he was keen on that conversation!)

Another friend in the group commented on it so i’m not imagining it but nothing about either of us has changed, he has a long term girlfriend and has the whole time i’ve known him.

I’m not asking if I should do anything I have no interest in him and it’s quite easy to distance myself from him for a while but I just find this change odd when it’s so different from how he used to be. Has anyone else had similar? Why would he suddenly be like this?

OP posts:
BrendasUmbrella · 03/02/2018 04:00

Have you ever seen evidence of him being a misogynist before? Maybe he has always seen women this way, and you just escaped his notice before now?

Cleavergreene · 03/02/2018 06:42

I’m not sure a person who talks about sex or makes innuendos, albeit constantly is a mysoginist (a hatred or contempt of/for women).

HarmlessChap · 03/02/2018 09:27

I suspect he's bored in his current relationship and wanting some excitement, either an EA or full on affair. Not as an escape from his current relationship but as an ego boost.

BrendasUmbrella · 03/02/2018 11:28

I suppose Cleaver I may be projecting my own experience there, but it is also a possibility. Neither of us have had any interaction with him, it's down to the OP to know if he still treats her with respect and friendliness or has reduced her to a walking pair of boobs.

Original poster
immonicaimdisgusting · 03/02/2018 14:52

No I wouldn't say he's a misogynist, it's more that he's normally respectful and this is a one off than the other way around

OP posts:
Original poster
immonicaimdisgusting · 03/02/2018 20:51

Anyone else?

OP posts:
category12 · 03/02/2018 21:31

Have you trying saying "what are you on, matey?"

Original poster
immonicaimdisgusting · 03/02/2018 23:08

Ha, I have actually mentioned it to him but he denies being any different

OP posts:
Isetan · 04/02/2018 05:10

This isn’t about what’s changed with him, there could be a million reasons (which he may never admit to), for him suddenly being a dick.

His recent behaviour is making you feel uncomfortable and for the sake of the friendship it needs to stop and you need to tell him this; wether he agrees with your assessment of his behaviour or not. Nip this in the bud and resist the urge to go down the ‘but why?’ rabbit hole.

TheStoic · 04/02/2018 06:22

There is no way anybody here could know the answer. Could you ask him?

Original poster
immonicaimdisgusting · 04/02/2018 14:14

I know TheStoic but I have asked him and he just laughed and said he's not being any different.

OP posts:
Isetan · 04/02/2018 16:25

Does his acknowledgement of his behaviour make it more true? You know what you know, you don't need for him to acknowledge his behaviour, you just need it to stop. If he doesn't stop, then you are going to have to distance yourself from him.

SandyY2K · 04/02/2018 16:29

Just ignore him...or distance yourself a bit...I do think the word misogynistic is thrown around a lot though.

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