Husband wants to sext, I don’t

[MinecraftMother]

It makes me feel uncomfortable and I don’t want to do it.

I’m not in the mood, esp when he’s in a different time zone and the msg he sends me arrives when I am at my desk in the middle of a busy day at work, in my shared office.

I think I’ve maybe partaken a couple of times in the past but now I just find it cringey.

Today I was up early baking for the fucking school disco. Then taking the kids to school. Then a busy AF day in work. Then rush home, get changed, get the kids ready for the school disco. Go to school disco, run the bar, clean up two loads of kids’ sick - one set of parents nowhere to be fucking seen - whilst fielding queries from my three all night. Then tidying up at the end. Home, teeth face hands change clothes, bed...

Then he says he’s en route home. Arrives in the door after being away for a week and I knew it was coming...”so you didn’t want to reply to my message”...

Oh fuck off.

Now he’s stormed off to bed and I’m
Fuming downstairs.

Absolutely predictable, I knew it was coming.

I know this isn’t the correct forum but AIBU?!!

I’m old enough not to be coerced into shit I don’t want to be a part of. I know this is mild but it’s the day long fight we’ll have about it tomorrow now...😔

Aaaaaaargh! Just so agin all the posters saying you should put out when you're not in the mood. Nooo, that is coercive/non-consensual sex IMO. No-one should be feeling they have to have sex when they don't want it.

All this societal pressure to give in to a man's desire for sex even if you don't want it. Where's the societal pressure for men to not pressurise, coerce and manipulate their wives into sex they don't want?

I know a guy who works away quite frequently and has tried to send saucy texts to his wife who’s apparently having none of it. He will say “ just wait til I get home I’m going to......etc etc etc” and she will reply “ the dog needs to go to the vet etc etc”. Now whether he’s picking terrible moments to text I don’t know but he sees this as a major rejection. She has now apparently told him she’s not interested in sex anymore and he is feeling incredibly depressed about it. I don’t really know what to say to him to do when he confides in me but I fear if someone came along who was interested in him he would take the opportunity.

He'll have an affair