Iv just opened up to a family member about past abuse I suffered

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I just recently opened up to a family member about past abuse caused from my mother I have kept this quiet for nearly 27 years now because Iv always felt I could never talk. Recently a friend who is aware of my circumstances has been talking me through to open up more and last night something inside me snapped and I started to talk. I feel like my worlds come crashing down because I know there are a lot of questions this relative wants but at the moment I’m not in such a good place. I know I have taken the first step and started to talk but I know what I have to talk about will turn anyone’s stomach and it’s hard for me to go through. I feel mentally and emotionally broke at the moment and I am struggling to get through each day would love some advice

No advice but didn't want to read and run.

Is there anything else to do with it you'd like to talk about here?

Have you thought about what you'd like to happen next?

You say you've taken the first step-which implies you at least feel you've done the right thing?

I'm really sorry for the abuse you've suffered. It's not the same, but I was abused by someone as a teenager and he was in my life for several years (& still is in a way). I built my whole life around covering up what he was doing/had done. So that was the foundation for everything. Something happened to bring it all back a couple of years ago and i felt very unstable for probably a year.
Be really kind to yourself, you will come out the other side.

You will get through this. Be kind and patient with yourself.
Only give to others what you can and don't feel forced to talk. You're right! you've taken the first step now and it's such a massive step so please try and get some support for yourself.
I had to tell my mum what happened to me as a child (SA) I was 30 years old and my hand was forced (long long story but in a nutshell - the abuser had came back into the family and could have contact with my own children)
Next it was my sisters that I told (it was their uncle, not mine I have a different dad to them)
Most recently and probably the most difficult if I'm honest - my own now adult sons. Telling them almost broke me, really really broke me but you know what? It didn't. I got through it. My driving force through most of my adult life? = The bastard has caused me enough pain already I will NOT allow him to hurt me no more.
Take care OP be strong and always remember, you have done nothing wrong and you have every single right to let the truth be known hugs xx

I still havnt prepared myself what is to come and I know deep down and if I think about it clearly it will get worse before it gets better. Iv recently become an aunt and do not want my nephew to have any sort of abuse from my mum which I don’t think would happen as my mum adores boys I have two brothers who were treat completely differently to me. I thought getting away from her was a big step but admitting to other close family members is a lot harder as they saw me on a daily basis but never helped and when I told my grandfather he said he didn’t realise and did know. (Although he knows my mums a psychopath) there’s a lot I’m learning to deal with about myself which I am struggling with because Iv always been conditioned one way and recently past few year I have started to change but in a slow pace and I feel it’s affecting everything about my life and I know I have to work through things a bit more faster to hopefully get the end result for me.

How are you feeling today OP?

You will get there.
Hope you're ok.
Please do look into getting some counselling. Where I am I can self refer to talking therapies. I don't need to go through the GP.
I always said that it wouldn't help me, only if they could erase my memory but it honestly did.

Gosh that sounds hard. I hope you’re ok

I am seeing a counsellor have been for a while but she thinks it’s a bad idear for me to open up as it effects me really badly.

Just an update.
Yesterday I saw my dad and because recently coming out to my granddad about things I wanted some evidence from my dad with out him being suspicious so I started asking questions and whilst he was talking I recorded what he said and sent them to a very close friend. Upon hearing some of the things it made me feel sick although I went through them as a child hearing someone admit to it is worse. (My friend felt the same way) with that I decided to look on the NSPCC website and rang one of the charity phone numbers just to speak to someone and find out a little more about what will happen. As yet I cannot report for historical abuse as I live in the same town as my mum and things are extreamly difficult. And I am not in the right place myself to go through such things but have put plans in motion.

Your counsellor thinks It's a bad idea for you to open up? Why's that do you think?

I can't imagine how you feel, or how much strength this must all take! How old are you OP?

My counsellor doesn’t think it’s a good idear as she thinks it could damage me more Iv just turned 30 but only got away from my mum about 5 year ago and into my 20s I suffered more abuse but to me it was normal. I was used to it. But I thought that was the hardest of challenges and it was but I’m finding this even more harder at times to deal with.

Can you go absolutely no contact with your Mum? That sounds dreadful.
Have you got sufficient real life support?

The first step is exactly what you've done - talk to somebody.

I suffered sexual abuse as a child, and let's face it, it's not something you can ever truly get over. That said, keeping such a huge burden locked up inside is not the way to deal with it, emotionally or otherwise.

Personally, I find it helpful to keep a diary and when you're feeling particularly down, write down your feelings. It helped me through some really dark times.

Without knowing exactly what has happened to you, it's difficult to know whether your situation is similar to that I experienced, but I truly hope you are able to find some kind of peace with what has happened.

I think you do need to realise that because you have kept it locked up for so long now, you will most likely struggle with your emotions for the next few weeks to months. After talking about what happened to me for the first time, it took me months. I think until that point I was half in denial it had ever happened and speaking about it made it all too real.

I also found it far easier talking to complete strangers - a telephone counsellor really helped me.

I do have no contact with my mum only problem is we live in the same area and tends to find me when I’m out shopping etc. I have very little support and one person is helping me through but they live miles away so it’s pretty much me on my own.
I suffered sexual abuse aswell but was from another family member I have tried the diary thing but I get fustrated with myself writing things down recently a friend told me to write all that has happened to me down which I am doing but it’s taken some time because there are things I am not ready to talk or write about. I do keep a log of things bottled up but that’s because I am so so used to doing things that way. Because I see a counsellor every week it would be in ethical to see another whilst under her care.

Right :(

I hope someone comes along who can help more soon. Can you get an order on your Mum? I don't know how it works. Can you move away? I know It's not an easy thing to do but might be worth it ?

I scent move away as I am a student at uni and also it’s not the right time as I’m training in my job aswell.