Abuse escalation

[alleyesonme]

I've posted on here before under another name. My partner has been emotionally abusive on and off for a while.
He seemed to get hugely better this last six months it's been five years this year he's never hit me during this time.
We recently started a new business together which basically he has most of the control over but I do the admin and marketing.
The business is doing quite well and he deals with the money and has a lot of clients money at the moment.
I got out the bath last night and he switched over a photo of me on social media it's just a photo of me nothing reveling in this photo etc
I tried to stand up to him and he just was screaming at me saying he was going to kick me in the face and standing over me and shouting right up in my face and his spit was flying out at me. I have a new job I've been there a few months and I really love it there I've got male colleagues which I have zero interest in they are married or engaged and we are Facebook friends but all they are is work friends I have no attraction to any of my work pals hand on heart I've been for meals with their partners present too , but he went through who I had from work and was just going on and on at me saying he was going to hit me and all of this . I was like a battered woman cowering on the sofa I was shaking and just terrified at this outburst.
I went into the kitchen and he follows and continued to rant and making threats to hit me I held my hands up by face thinking we'll if he hits me I can protect my face a bit.
I went upstairs and was just shaking all over and then he said I've made you a tea now so come down lets forget it.
I just acted normal and left it I went to work today and I've just got back and I've got a dress on it's an office dress past my knees and high necked u literally cannot see anything and he's like why you wearing that it's a new dress and he noticed it. I said I want to look smart for work and he goes well you can't wear that anymore wear trousers like other women do etc etc I'm so glad he's now stormed out but I cannot believe he reverted to some of his old behaviors accept now adding the physical violence too.
We've got the business and he's got all the holdings in cash and I cannot afford to pay them back myself so I feel I have to just stay together and be controlled like this now cos of the business I thought he had changed because he was being so so nice to me lately :-(

Is he with you now? Will you be safe tonight?
If he's not in tonight why don't you call womens aid for some support?

Run away!Take what you can, contact police,gather up all precious stuff and RUN

Yes he's here

Please please please contact the police and ask them to come round and supervise while you leave.
Please

Hope you are ok alleysome?

A few days before I left I had packed and snuck an emergency get out bag into the boot of my car. In it I had a few essentials, banking stuff, passport, Uni certificates and a few personal possessions like photos etc. This meant that I was able to just leave one morning when I had the courage (took a few days despite Police involvement etc). Could this be an idea? Just to make you feel that you can just run.

The police in my area were very supportive and took the verbal and emotional abuse as seriously as the physical. Although I didn't press through with charges he has some sort of mark against his name on a police register for five years (could be part of Claire's law?).

Can you call the police without him overhearing?

Please, please put yourself first. Is there someone you can stay with?

I didn't have any family in this country but was fortunate enough to have a bit of money in savings and used it to stayed in a Premier inn for a few nights before moving in with a colleague for a couple of months. The police were actually very helpful with ideas for how to find accommodation and support. They put me in touch with local charities for victims of abuse who offered emergency counselling as well as practical help . Just telling you all this to show you that it can be done and you can get yourself out of this situation. Once you leave there will be help and you will be able to rebuild your life again.

I am sure you are very frightened and confused, which is what your H wants you to be. I heard so many similar accusations from my exh that eventually I was a shadow of my former self, unable to think straight. I realised I never acted just reacted to him, doing what kept me safe.

But whatever the situation with the business, and I'm sure he has planned this to keep you trapped, you must put your son first. Before your clients, your self and your H. This must have been terrifying for him, you won't be the only one filled with fear, walking on eggshells and feeling trapped.

For his sake as well as yours get out as soon as you can. I know it's hard and frightening. My biggest life regret after regretting marrying my ex is that I didn't leave sooner and that's because of my children as much as myself.

Stay safe OP.

I know pps have said this too op but Speak to women's aid. They will be able to advise you on the money from the business too and you'll be able to explain it better to them than you can on here.
If you can't do that maybe speak to the CAB about your situation?
You may not be able to see a way out but there is a way, he's trying to control you by putting you in this situation where you rely on him. Luckily, he's only convinced you that you rely on him, it's not real.

You really need to get yourself and your DD out, OP. You have a full time job so you are in a position to start again. Is there a work friend who could help you?

In the end I left because I mentioned to our business lawyer something my ex had done and his absolutely horrified reaction jolted me out of the this-is-normal mindset you get in. The lawyer then Gave me the confidence to go to the police. My point is that if you mention this to someone at work I'd be very surprised if they did not immediately stand behind you. Refuge were involved with me - you can get great help there. And women's aid as op have said. Reach out - please take that first step.

Thankyou so much for all caring about me to write a reply to me.
I didn't speak much last night I feel like a robot for him like making him drinks food and cleaning I never get a moment to myself . Even last week on my day off he was ringing me asking why I never opened his msg I was busy I went to the shops for a bit like I'm being accused secretly of being up to no good.
He talks at me too all the time I cannot think straight I'm having night terrors that I'm being attacked and I told someone at work and they started asking question about why I'm having nightmares and is something going on I just said no because I'm embarrassed.
I think they half know what my life is like because my boss made a remark but they have no idea of the full extent of what I'm going through.
It's like someone being on your case all the time 24.7 and last night he was screaming in my face about the business and I didn't need it it's my wkend off I want to relax.
If I say I'm tired he says I sit at a desk all day why am I tired but I work long hours I'm a human I don't feel like he sees me as a human being I can't explain it.
He threatens to hit me in arguments I'm scared of him no one would know because he acts so great in front of other people.
He's popped out to a job now so I have an hour off from him I was Trying to watch tv last night and he just talks at me constantly my heads going to explode why is he like this ??
I know I need to go I have a small amount of savings not enough to get me far really. It's my own fault I let him invest in the business and I'm paying for my mistakes now in setting up with him at all.
Thanks I appreciate the support if only on here