Physically rejected for ten years

[Makingmywayforward]

My soon to be H rejected me sexually almost as soon as we moved in together. I fell pregnant within the first year of our marriage and he didn't sleep with me again until Dc was 14 months old. Did so about twice and I conceived dc 2. From then on it's been very rare. We tried relate and he lied and said he didn't have a libido. I then found porn so that was a lie. He's tried viagra but still can't climax. I'm leaving him this year for many reasons but just feel so rejected and unattractive. I have saggy boobs, stretch marks and a pouch over my c section. I just don't feel I can ever show anyone my body again but I don't want to be alone and want sex!!!!!!

I have all these things and I've been single a year. My STBXH hasn't had sex with me for years and I felt very rejected.
But in the past year I've more than made up for lost time. My current fav FWB is a very fit younger man and he's just delighted with my body. And I have a couple of others on the go who feel the same way.

Get yourself a fab haircut (or whatever else makes you feel amazing) and get yourself out there. I think you'll find the sex you're after without any problem but be clear with yourself that that's what you're after first.

Try PoF or something similar (and take a deep breath cause it can be overwhelming, esp if you show that you're not after anything serious) and I think you'll find all the messages will show there's lots out there. You can be picky tho. Don't compromise your standards just cause it's been a while.
There's a good OLD thread on here who offer helpful advice if it's daunting to you.

Good luck. You've done the hard part dumping your Ex. Head up, smile, heels and lippy on and knock them dead!!!

I have all of those things op. They aren’t the reason your dh doesn’t want sex.

I reckon he is gay or suffers from ‘death grip’. He has probably watched so much porn that he is now desensitised to normal sex. This is quite a common thing.

So please don’t blame yourself. Just stop wasting your life with him.

Men are not bothered about any of the things you mention. If we get that far to see them then it’s a result in most men’s world!

However, we do like confidence, a bit of make up, nails, hair etc...we are very visual creatures.

If you just want sex try fabswingers. It’s not just as it sounds. There are hundreds of men for every woman on there and most just want sex/fwb.

After the 10 years you have had, you might just want a bit of fun before thinking about anything else.

As for your husband. He is either gay, has deep rooted intimacy issues or actually didn’t desire you in the first place and settled instead.

You have made a brave decision moving on

I have a pouch etc and after I got divorced I found a fantastic guy whose 8 years younger than me and loves me just the way I am.

If YOU want to ge fitter then you can reduce the pouch at the gym I found but do it for you and nobody else

Thanks all. Intimacy issues are my STBXH issues. I will bloody well get out there and sure someone will find me attractive for me! I work out a lot already and am 60 kg and 5ft 4 so all that's left really is Mummy tummy. Thanks for advice all