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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does your DH work away?

10 replies

sparklygirl · 29/04/2007 20:05

How do you feel about it and deal with being on your own?

OP posts:
lovemybed · 29/04/2007 20:31

for the first few years it was really really tough but now 6 years on i enjoy the time apart cause when we get back together its like being on honeymoon again, i think a busy life and good friends works wonders for passing the time, what does your dh do is he in the forces

Scootergirl · 29/04/2007 20:34

DH is in the army and I've always found that the first week or so when he goes off is realy rubbish and then you just have to get on with it, organise loads of stuff and accept you will have down times. Oh, and get your mother to come and stay so you can have the odd lie in

chilledmama · 29/04/2007 20:34

I'm a Forces Wife (RN) which means DH goes away for quite lengthy periods...TBH you just get on with life. The first few days are always difficult when he goes but I don't have time to worry about it too much...worst time of day was about 2030- 2100; you know when its still too early to go to bed but your just vegitating.
How are you feeling??

sparklygirl · 29/04/2007 22:53

Well I supose I'm lucky my DH isn't await for weeks at a time, he works away during week and back Friday nights. DH is so tired after a 4 hoour drive he doesn't really want to do much. I don't like Sundays as he goes away on Sundays. CM I know what that time feels like, it was worse when DD had a 22:00 feed. I was just forcing myself to stay awake.

OP posts:
moondog · 29/04/2007 23:12

I agree with lovemybed.My dh has been away for 6 years too.
Only bit that I find really dificult is thebedtime routine which is a killer.

Sunyshineymummy · 29/04/2007 23:15

My DP has a job where he is away a lot (and out all night, he works in the wine industry) and I like it as it gives me chance to see people, apart from when he works at the weekend. Then I get annoyed.

harrisey · 29/04/2007 23:40

`my dh works away 2 nights a week (predictable) which I like as I can do girlie stuff or have a night alone.
When he does a whole week away (about once every 4-5 weeks or so I dont like it. But the money is so good (he's a GP locum) that you kind of learn to live with it.

I also find the recurrent bedtime routine hard, as well as getting kids out the door on time in the morning. But I am licky, I have a nanny, so I dont have to do thru the day!. Just 5pm - 8.15 am!!

hk78 · 30/04/2007 23:16

my dh works away during the week, regular

i think it 's what holds the marriage together

littlelapin · 30/04/2007 23:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lucykate · 30/04/2007 23:29

until we relocated last july, dh left on a monday morning and wasn't home again til friday evening. i did find it hard going at first, but as the months went by, got into a good routine, eating with the kids, bathing them slightly earlier as bedtime took longer being on my own. on the plus side, i could watch what i wanted on tv, house was tidier, less washing, but on the down side, the evenings can be lonely.

now we've moved, he's around much more, but has just been away for 8 days to singapore. he's on his way back home tonight, lands at birmingham at 7.15am tomorrow, yay!. it has been a hard 8 days for me and i am very tired, kids not been sleeping well etc etc.. i know that when he's back, we will fall out over who is allowed to be the most tired, him or me. i know he will be jet lagged, but given that the last few days we have kept in touch via email, and he has emailed me at 12.30am, and 1.30am singapore time , my sympathy over him being tired is going to be a little stretched over the fact that some of it is self inflicted.

best way through it is arrange things to do, playdates, lunch time get togethers, invite other mums round for a meal. i did that last week, 5 of us came to mine and i cooked, it was fun!.

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