No friends

[2beautifulbabies89]

Hi, I'm new to mumsnet so don't really know where to start. Just looking for some advice and a friendly bit of conversation. I'm 29, living back at home with my parents with my two nippers. I don't have confidence and suffer from anxiety and just can't seem to make any meaningful comfortable friendships. I have rekindled the relationship with my sons father after 8 months apart, and I have a feeling the distant friends I do have are unhappy about this. I just feel alone, bored and want to get some form of life back. Anybody else in a simular boat?

Yes! I am also 29. I have 4 kids and don't really have any friends. It's so difficult making friends at this age everyone said I would make friends when my kids started school but that hasn't happened. I'm not sure what the answer is really :(

I see people I know at play group when I drop my son, but I just feel uncomfortable! People I used to be close with have their own friendship groups where I think I'd just be the outsider, or they don't have children and are more interested in partying and work. I wish I had the confidence and drive to just get a grip and try and arrange things with people but for some reason there's a block! I'm sorry your in the same boat as me, but its comforting to know I'm not the only one! Im not working at the moment so I don't have that social interaction either.

Same boat here. Incredibly lonely and I see other people on Facebook with their large friendship groups and interesting days out with groups of friends and feel sad and jealous. I have no idea how to make friendship groups like that! No advice as I’m struggling too but just wanted to send you sympathy and say you’re not alone

I was the same at your age.

I actually made new friends via MN but I don’t thinks so easy now.

Find common interests and join groups/clubs.

We moved a long way when our first DC was a baby. Toddler groups was a starting point, and then getting to know other neighbours with young children. Those tended to be convenient friendships, and lasted until the children started school, or people moved.

The most lasting friendships I've had were forged at work. Have you any chance of perhaps taking up a part time job, or a class or even some voluntary work?

I'm the same I find it difficult to relate to people, on school yard I see many "school mum" clicks and groups that id want no part of and see right through them it's not who I am . I speak to very few that I feel are drama free and trustworthy this applies through to family as well. It maybe that I'm simply not a "people person" when I meet people who I'm comfortable with great but I'm not good with crowds if I see traits I don't like or sense somethings a miss I won't bother and retreat, I really can't be doing with shitty people and I feel everywhere is oversaturated with them and genuine people are a rare breed to come by 😏

I felt like that a couple of years ago. I'm more introvert than extrovert and do suffer from feelings of being left out even though I know it's completely irrational at times. I made a New Years resolution to work at it and make lots of effort. Invite friends over for a coffee or meet at a coffee shop. Chat to folk at kid birthday parties. Go to soft play together, etc. Sometimes it does feel like you're making all the effort, but it does pay off. But for an introvert like me, it was well outside of my comfort zone. I also have an evening hobby which is just for me, which gives me a different social circle to the mums too. Good luck!

Me too, I’m 29. And have some friends but really not that many at all.
And nobody who I would consider my ‘best friend’
My sister has a group of 4 ‘best friends’ all from school, known each other forever and it does make me envious.

But I have DH and DS and just make the most of it and on the odd occasion that I do see some of my friends it is lovely.

Coincidentally if anyone is in SE London/Kent and wants a friend, let me know

Feeling uncomfortable is all part and parcel of meeting new people. Feel the fear and do it anyway - you have to go through the awkward and unnatural feeling of shyness and not wanting to talk to people to strike up a conversation in the first place. Some people won't be interested for whatever reason and you have to not take it personally - not easy.

Also if you go into situations with a "stay away" vibe then you're going to struggle.