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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Who has done the Freedom Programme?

5 replies

MissCommunication · 31/01/2018 19:32

Hi

I've posted a few times before (got a recent thread about my DH and DSis dynamic and how she finds it incredibly hard being around dh, me and the children). After the past few days of intensity with poorly DS and being stuck at home I wanted ten minutes to break out of the house and get some milk. DS had held onto his poo too long and I had a shit storm to deal with. He held onto his wee and wee'd himself as well. Just the endless cycle of mummyhood with teething baby and very little sleep. I wanted to go to tesco. He questioned it in the usual quizzical eyebrow raise way he does. Why not go to the corner shop. Made me feel I couldn't go to fucking tesco. I'm a grown woman. I want a 6 pint bottle. He made it so hard to just get out. They sell 4 pinters so get two and you have 8. I'm struggling a bit but he's struggling so I can't ask for time out (he walks home from work, goes out for an hour or so for his hobby, sits on sofa for as long as he likes but he's having a hard time, the poor wee lamb).

I need to know how other people have done it. I'm committing to not moaning to my sister any more. And I know that without an outlet sooner or later I'll blow a gasket. What experience have others had of the FP? There's no physical abuse and I don't feel in danger but the control is so insidious and petty (down to controlling where I go for milk) and I'm getting stressed. I've got terrible vertigo which I discussed with GP and gone through all possibilities and it's stress-related. I feel on edge. I worry about whether I've kissed him in the right way. Whether I've said goodbye for long enough. He said tonight that I barely acknowledge his existence (a bit rich coming from the master).

Success stories? What can I expect from it?

TIA xxx

OP posts:
Queenofthedrivensnow · 31/01/2018 20:03

Me. I enjoyed it but it didn't prevent another ea relationship

wantmorenow · 31/01/2018 20:42

Yep - very useful and the person leading the course was wonderful. Spending time with the other women on the course that probably helped me the most.

QueenOlives · 01/02/2018 20:40

I'm doing it right now.

It's great, hard going at times but a great step in the right direction and is really opening my eyes to how things were.

For me the connection with other women who get it and I don't have to hide it from (I know!) is fab.

mumgointhroughtorture · 01/02/2018 20:48

I did a domestic abuse course with women's aid and it opened my eyes for sure .I did 4 levels of it . I think it can do 2 things ... It can make you think everything a man does is a red flag , make you paranoid and consequently lead to you staying away from relationships altogether or it can make you more aware for the future which hopefully gives you the tools to keep your eyes open to the red flags .

I definitely think it's good to give yourself the knowledge.

OrangeCarpet · 02/02/2018 09:40

I did it online. Very good.

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