Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Cheating Boyfriend

16 replies

caroline122 · 30/01/2018 21:22

I need help deciding a very difficult situation. My boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly kissed a random girl at a bar twice. The first time I decided to forgive and forget and he proved to me that it would never happen again. Months later it happened again. We have a really great relationship besides these two occasions. He regrets it more than anything and claims it meant nothing, but he did not tell me as I found out through another source. He doesn't even know the girls name and will never see her again. He's young (18) but has proved to me throughout our whole relationship he is in love with me. Do I end our 3 happy years for two drunk mistakes or is the term "Once a cheater always a cheater" true?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 30/01/2018 21:34

I think he'll carry on making these "mistakes"

Did he trip and fall on her mouth?

category12 · 30/01/2018 21:35

I presume you're also around 18? Ditch him and run amok, op, amok - have fun, be single, enjoy life.

DontDIY · 30/01/2018 21:36

Are you the same age? If so, I was you at 18. My boyfriend cheated on me countless times in the end, eventually getting another pregnant while we were “on a break”, but still sleeping together. I still took him back and we had a DC, but after that it ended for good. By that time, I think he actually was sorry and did love me, but all the damage had been done, my DC aside.

So my advice, call it a day. If you’re meant to be together when he’s grown up a bit in a good few years, then so be it.

CaMePlaitPas · 30/01/2018 21:40

Depends on what you're prepared to accept OP. I know if my husband kissed someone else that would be it for us, once the trust is gone you no longer have a relationship regardless of how happy you are/were. I wouldn't accept that it was a "drunken mistake" - people use that as an excuse for poor behaviour, an almost "get out of jail free" card. He's young so he has a lot of learning to do about being considerate and thinking about the consequences of his actions on people that he's supposed to love and who love him. Once is once but twice is deliberate.

Afternooncatnap · 30/01/2018 21:48

So you've been together since he was 15?

Most guys want to experiance young free and single at 18. Holidays in magaluf and all that. You can put up with his cheating and stick by him and hope he still wants you when he comes out the other end. Or end it, live your own life and settle down with someone that is ready to be in a ltr.

RaininSummer · 30/01/2018 21:51

He is probably just too young for a committed relationship. It is sad after three years but 18 is too young to settle down for most people. So, yes, it will happen again.

caroline122 · 30/01/2018 21:55

I am 20 yrs old

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 30/01/2018 21:57

I have never snogged somebody by mistake. Either he's a piss artist who gets so shitfaced he behaves badly. Leave him. Or he's a serial cheat who's trying to mans plain away his bad behaviour. Leave him.

Beelzebop · 30/01/2018 22:03

Honestly, he sounds like a proper teenager. You sound more mature, I think he will drive you mad.

Shen0102 · 30/01/2018 22:08

at 18 he's behaving how most people his age are. he just started drinking legally' and it could be a while until the party animal In him leaves. at 18 myself I definitely wasn't looking for a long term relationship ..now I'm older my mentality is different (im definitely done with the party days).

FancyNewBeesly · 30/01/2018 22:16

Getting off with someone else twice that you know of isn't proving he loves you. It's proving he doesn't respect your relationship, and that he will keep doing whatever he wants because you'll stick around anyway. Where's his incentive to act differently? You think he's shown remorse but then done it again? He didn't tell you, so how do you know it's only these two times?

I get it - you're young and in love. But this isn't what relationships are supposed to be like. If my husband goes out, I have zero concerns that he's going to be hitting on other women. He wouldn't dare, and has no interest anyway. You can do better than this.

Chocolate123 · 30/01/2018 23:45

You are way too young to put up with this. It's not accidental he's done it twice. Next time he'll fall into bed with a girl

serialcheat · 31/01/2018 00:07

Give him some payback..... See how he likes it !!!!

BitOfFun · 31/01/2018 00:18

Do you seriously think this is the last relationship you'll ever be in? Of course it isn't. So why waste your time when there are adventures to be had?

TheNaze73 · 31/01/2018 08:10

I think it’s time to accept a few things. He’s too young to be tied to someone, he’s not got your back, he’ll continue to cheat & you need to get rid. People that are happy, don’t kiss randoms. He’s obviously not happy

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 31/01/2018 11:06

He is showing you his true colours. Go out and have some fun for yourself, he may never grow up !

New posts on this thread. Refresh page