Am I being ridiculous?

[dvorak]

Not exactly sure why I'm posting - perhaps for reassurance that I'm not being silly?
I'm in my late 40s and my parents are moving abroad this week. It is the right decision for them and I support them 100%. They are old and want to spend their final years in their own country where it is warm. But still, I am feeling sad and will miss them. They don't live locally so my day to day experience won't change. I don't rely on them for childcare and don't see them regularly. So our mainly phone-call relationship won't change. But still. I am feeling really sad. Today I've been particularly tearful. Is this ridiculous? I feel silly for getting upset when I know it's a great opportunity for them and life will still go on here.
I just want to cry and not feel like a ridiculous teenager. (Nobody has said I am. Just that voice in my head!)

No, you're not being ridiculous but the reality of it when they're gone probably won't be that bad as they don't live near anyway.

My parents moved abroad 18 months ago, despite not being close I was quite upset at the time & had a real feeling of having no-one. Luckily have awesome friends who rallied & helped me through it-the same friends who helped me when dad died suddenly last year. Them being so far away has strangely made the grieving process easier as dad not being here feels quite normal
It does get easier once you're over them initially leaving & friends make good family

I had a similar wobbly when I realised that temporarily I was the only member of my birth family left in the UK!

dvorak Not silly at all - I completely understand. I'm mid-thirties and my parents moved to the States in March 2017. My sister lives in the States, my brother in Spain so although I'm married I'm the only one here in the UK.

What I found was that I was more sad and tearful before they actually went. I have days where I just want to hug my mum but I'm really not as down about it as I thought I would be. Before they left we put a plan in place for me to go and visit them which helped a lot. I didn't wave them off thinking "when would I see them again", we parted knowing a date was in place that we would be reunited. Is there a chance you could do that?

Thank you for your replies. I feel very reassured that this is normal and not silly. I will try to visit - but that is expensive and tricky with work, kids etc. Thanks again for replying.

Hi OP, I always find change difficult. Your feelings are very normal, it would be strange if you didn't feel anything.
Look at it this way, day to day, if they hadn't told you, you wouldn't particularly have noticed that they had gone. So not much change there. Also, isn't it wonderful, that they are catching their dream. I predict some lovely holidays coming up in the future. You'll be fine Lovely, you truly will.💐

Thankyou sugarpie. I needed to hear that today. You are very kind. (I have marked your message and will reread if I wobble...)

My parents moved away 4 months before I got married and I was heartbroken.
It does get easier with time and believe me, as they aged the sister they moved close to ended up spending most of her spare time looking after them! As I work and had a young child by this stage I wouldn't have had the time to look after them the way she did, bless her.

I think it’s a pretty normal feeling. My good friend was upset when her parents moved to the other end of the U.K. recently but is fine now she’s got used to it.

Change is always a bit scary.

I will say that technology makes a huge difference. I live in the US and our family are all in the U.K. we FaceTime with our parents every week, the kids FaceTime friends in the U.K., we upped our usage of FB to help keep the family in touch with our lives and WhatsApp is awesome.

The time difference can sometimes make calling tricky but we chat back and forth on WhatsApp regularly and it’s extremely easy to send the Grandparents pictures or video of the kids/activities/report cards/drawings etc

They send us pictures of the snow and we send them pictures of sunshine.

You’ll feel better in time but it’s natural to feel upset now.