I think DH suffers courtesy of my MIL. I believe he is the scapegoat. Unable to stand up to her on the smallest thing without being shutdown and days spent afterwards feeling shit. She is very passive aggressive. Enjoys (mind) games. PA comments. Nothing said directly. Nothing tangible. Always a victim. He can't remember her ever saying she loves him. Not affectionate except for a basic kiss on cheek when greeting. There was a degree of triangulation with SIL, MIL and DH until he eventually grew tired and saw it for what it is/was. He usually sticks his head in the sand and hopes it will go away. He withdraws after conflict - the conflict is only minor. Retreats and hardly talks.
I don't come from a family like this. I bottle most things up when dealing with this family because I don't want to upset DH but I'm getting worn out with it. I don't know how I can get him to recognise the FOG. He recognises the unhealthy relationship but loves her and believes the family could easily cut him off which terrifies him.