Please help. New baby & the Dad is always in pub

[Rosiebrown1]

Hi everyone. Please can you offer some advice. I feel like I am going mad.

On the day I had my c section, my partner left the hospital 6 hours before it was officially time for him to leave. He said he wanted to avoid the rush hour traffic (3pm). It transpires he went down the pub.

Beautiful baby is now 8 weeks yet partner is down the pub almost every night. One night he didn't even come home until 4am the next morning.

I am so sleep deprived yet partner won't even have baby at night on weekends (he works Monday to Friday) because he's to drunk.

I just feel so isolated and lonely. It's my first baby and I'm 46. Is it my age making me overly sensitive do you think? I had heard it's harder the older you are.

He's out down the pub now, it's the forth night running. This is standard.

I try really hard to make the house lovely, I have worked really hard also to loose my baby weight and. He just has zero interest in our relationship.

Please be as honest as you feel. Many thanks xxx

oh op. I'm glad you and baby are safe.
Great advice from yorkshiremummy
You're already a single parent you just didn't know it. Keep your chin up and you will get through this. You're already stronger than you think.

Gosh, what a complete arsehole. Very glad you have a friend to stay with. Definitely time to call it a day on the relationship.

he is awful. Well done for getting out OP.

Oh gosh I'm so sorry to hear this he's vile to do this to you? Can you stay with your friend. Please contact your health visitor for support so she knows what you are going through and can keep an eye on your mood etc.. do you have family support siblings? Parents?

It feels like a lifetime ago I left this post!!
A week after, the ex tried to abduct baby!! She was 10 weeks then. Ex's parents condoned and encouraged him (I sought their help first before calling the police). His dad's response was, 'the kiddie stays here..we'll let the courts decide'!! Jesus Christ😩
He even brought his dad (uninvited) into my home to intimidate me during one of his access days afterwards😔
Luckily the police were amazing and attended immediately, returning baby back to me after the abduction.
Recently, ex has admitted that his parents have been secretly trying to wean baby on his access days (against my knowledge at the time and wishes). She was four months and kept returning from his access days with upset tummy. Additionally, whilst he was having access for 9 hours on a weekend day, he admitted only giving her 1 1/2 bottles of milk (225 ml). She was starving upon return.
I have now insisted on supervised access only through a contact centre.
He has refused this and is taking me to court (he wants baby every weekend with two overnight's)😩.she is now 5 months. He even initiated mediation and I went along but he has now terminated the mediation process to go to court and told the contact centre he will not agree to seeing his daughter there.
What a mess. My daughter is a happy, healthy and thriving little individual though and I fear the future with her in terms of constant bullying and controlling behaviour from ex and his family xxx

Oh OP, I'm so sorry that he and his family have put your vulnerable baby and you through this - despicable and abusive behaviour - thank goodness she's OK!
Document every tiny minute detail, with as much corroborating evidence as possible - have you mentioned these actions to HV or baby's GP? I'm just thinking that would be helpful for showing a court how downright damaged these people are - definitely not suitable for unsupervised access!
Well done!! and best wishes for the future

You need advice, call Womens Aid,
If he is going out getting drunk daily, it is unlikely he will get prolonged contact at this time.
He & his parents have been starving your baby & attempting to introduce solids without your approval or even knowledge.
unbelievable.
It seems you are back in your own house ? this is good, do not let him or anyone else into your home. You are 45, you can say NO & mean it.
He has shown how devoted he is to your child. This is all about control,
His parents must be in their 60s, & they have no rights over your child

Aww.. Yes now back in my lovely home (sorry I should have made that clear):) & his parents are over 60 years. Every day I take out baby (in her pram) and my beautiful labrador for long walks... It's a little bit of normality.
Whilst I was having the c section and recovery, his parents did house my dog. It was horrendous. She never had a drink of water and ex's dad used to report that, if he took her out in the car (the dog), he would 'teach her to sit still in the car' by hitting the break and letting her 'hit the dashboard'.. He said, 'that will teach her'. Thank god I have both home with me safe. I had so much worry. These people are horrendous. Xxx

They sound like evil people! I hope that the courts deny him any unsupervised visits!

Good grief you've had a nightmare time of it.
So he had no interest at all.
Was out drinking every single night.
And then suddenly abducts the baby.
This has come from his family and not him.
I hope the courts can see this for what it is.
Well done on settling back into a lovely routine.
Good luck!