Living abroad need advise

[Lostbrit]

Hi,

Really hoping for some advise as I don’t have anyone I can talk to about this.

I live abroad with my husband and children have been for a few years now. I am a SAHM as the visa I am on doesn’t allow me to work. I have no income of my own.

I want to leave my husband. We are not happy. Argue quite a bit but there is no love there. He does talk to women on online but I don’t even care about that I have checked out. Hurts to admit this but it is a very lonely marriage.

My problem is my children are settled here and my husband will not let me bring them back to the U.K. with his consent. If we divorce I am no longer allowed to stay in this country and will have to leave which will mean leaving my children which I cannot do. So I don’t see anyway out of the marriage I will have to stay in it unhappy and everyday feeling like my life is just slipping away from me. I could just take the children and go but that is unfair to my children who love their dad and life here.

What do I do.....I see the only way is for me to be unhappy so I can stay with my children.

There is no solution here is there?

Can’t give specific advice but would you suggest you email women’s aid or women’s refuge here in UK and see if they can give you some advice, (or simply refer you to someone or some organisation) especially if you are both UK citizens. Good luck. Are there similar organisations where you are?

This is a really tricky situation and you will need to do some research. Can you apply for residency or citizenship where you are so that you can live independently without needing a visa?

Can you tell us where you are and we can perhaps give you more specific advice? I take it you are not in UAE like me? Here you can work on your husbands visa you just need a Labour card and NOC from him. Local divorce is also very favourable towards women here. Where are you? Can you join a local expat group to get some advice?

Thanks for the replies I am in America on a H visa. My husband company are going to sponsor for a green card but that is some years down the line.

I guess I would just like to know would you suck it up and wait till you have green card? Green card means I could divorce husband and still stay. I don’t think I can pull our children back to the U.K. when they are happy here feels selfish on my part.

We are all British.

Are you sure you can't work? Is there no jobs that could sponsor you to get your own H1? When DH was working in the USA I was able to secure my own working visa. I needed to show them the ropes but they got my visa changed to legally work. It dos sound like you need to get out.
Or could you seperate but stay married until the green card comes through? Would he be willing to agree to that?

If you were to leave, could he really stop you from taking the children back to the UK? Seeing as he’s not a permanent resident, and the children are not American?

Where there’s a will there’s a way. Can you study for qualifications if you don’t have any means to a decent job

Can you not get him to move back to the UK, pretend you're just homesick and that once you're back you believe your marriage will be so much better etc, then dump him once you're back and settled?