Did you move on after marriage breakup - if so how?

[gtimama]

I posted this message last week in wrong the wrong topic:-

"My divorce is imminent. Have been feeling really sad about it over last two/three weeks. Find myself crying (whilst alone) deep, deep gut wrenching sobs.

Left H 18 months ago. Got 3 dd's. When looking to the future it all looks mighty grim.

How on earth does a 46 yr old, little fat woman with 3 children move on?

My eldest (14) considers me OLD and doesn't like to think of me with another man. My mum is 83 and still going strong, so I look at her and think to myself that I could potentially live for another 40 yrs and the thought of being alone all that time is not very nice.

Anyone else been in my position and yet managed to move on and be happy? How did you do it?"

Just to let you know I have been feeling alot better than that this week, but still interested to hear others experiences.

Thanks speccy - Yeah I know. I am feeling better this week, but that's how it goes, like waves. I'm sure I'll be fine.

My mother lost my dad at the age of 51 and she said at the time "I wouldn't have another man even if his arse was studded in diamonds." She's been on her own since and says that she couldn't have been any happier.

Some days I feel like that! Some days I don't.

In fact I think I'll only go for one who has his arse studded in diamonds!

Just seems to me that it's easier for H's to move on. They don't have kids with them all the time and they can re-enter the social scene. I find it almost impossible to arrange any social event 'cos I have to always think about DD's.

H was supposed to have DD's this weekend, so I tentatively arranged an outing with friends. Typically he didn't actually come and get them til 5.30 yesterday by which time I was so pissed off and tense that I cancelled evening out as it meant getting ready for 6.30 and by then I wasn't in the mood.

Message withdrawn

Hi Dior - I know, I'm my own worst enemy sometimes. I really piss my own self off!

Sorry to hear your going through it yourself. It is terrifying, but IME after I'd actually done it, I wondered what I was so terrified of.

There are lots of ups and downs, but when I'm in an 'up' I'm glad I made this choice. The 'down' times are hard to get through, but so far I've managed.

Hi gtimama

When i divorced my husband the first thing i did was revert back to my maiden name!! The day the papers came through in fact. Then I sat and thought about what I needed to do and what I wanted to do, such as I needed to raise my self esteem but i wanted to learn to drive, I wanted to go to university etc. I set myself little goals and I had achieved every single one of them within 3 years. I never gave men and relationships a thought during that time, they weren't on the 'goals' list but, not being actively interested didn't mean I didn't get offers so don't worry about new realtionships just yet. Just take some time to concentrate on you. The rest will just fall into place xx

Hi Ifonlyhewould - been out all day, cos kids are with H. Been nice, went to local sunday market then back to my mums where we washed the car and gave it a good clean out!

I'm not really worried about meeting someone at the moment, it's just occasionally I look into the future and think OMG will I be alone for years like my mum? I'd just like to think that it could be possible for me to meet someone nice who would like to spend their time with me. H left me feeling very low, said some very hurtful things that I find it hard to forget.

I am getting on with it though. I have recently lost almost 2 stone - which is the amount I put on after leaving him. I'm a comfort eater!!! Now I have to lose the * stone I put on during my marriage!! After that - what man could resist? No diamond studded arse will be safe!

Good for you! Thats all good stuff!

I'm glad you had a good day xx