I Can't help thinking that his mother was unreasonable

[Comtemporary49]

I cannot get this out of my mind and I hope that Mumsnet can help.

It's not about me, I know someone whose mother convinced him to leave his DP with a young DC. The reasons are that the woman is not "good" enough for her son and that he made a mistake having a DC with her and she can't stand the woman. They have been separated for a while now and she moved away with the DC.

What I do not understand about this woman is that her own husband's family thought that she was not good enough for their "son" at the time, she had the person in question, however, his father stuck by his mother and they had three more children.

Why would any woman encourage her son to leave his own son's mother - so the DC is now being brought up by a single mother?

AIBU to think that parents should not interfere in their children's relationships where children are involved? He talks to his mother every day and each time it sets him off. Please, this person is almost 50 years old.

the reason for disliking this woman is so trivia - it just shows how society is not tolerant of one another or appreciates that it's okay to be different.

Very sad...but he's sounding like a weak man.

Not to drip feed, but the DC is under 5 years old. @Sandy, it's sad to leave the mother of your child because your DM does not like her. Shouldn't the DC's interest be paramount at all times?

I think that if the mother could convince her adult son to leave his wife and child for no reason other than the wife wasn't 'good enough' then, long term, the child is likely to be better off without him.

A parent shouldn't interfere with a relationship of their child even if they don't have kids. My mum tries to do the same and tries to give opinions, but i just tell her to mind her own business.

He sounds spineless and a mummy's boy. The woman is better off without him.

Why did he leave the wife though. Surely not because his mother told him to? My mother tells me all sorts of things, I would never do something unless I agreed - otherwise I just make some non comittal sound, hhhrrmm.

Seriously if a grown man left hid wife through no other reason than his mum told him to then the wife is better off and do is the child in the long run. Who wants a man like that around as a husband/father?

@Young and @Hopping, that's true. He is very weak, speaks to his mother every day (not a bad thing at all but shouldn't be about his relationship). In the long term, I think that the woman is better off without this man as she can concentrate on being a good mother to her DC.

In the past, I had tried to talk to the person that telling his mother about his relationship was not a very wise thing to do. After this "talks" he would be so nasty to the woman (she still loves him and wants him back).

Each time that he went to visit the DC, I would get some small presents for him - no child have to feel so unwanted by their own grandmothers.

Just to end this off, a friend of mine used to say to his daughter, "If you want to talk about your husband to me, you know whose sides I will be taking."

i think the ex wife, has had a vary lucky escape. Imagine trying to bring up a child with this MIL interfering constantly? And as fir the Hisband, he’s a weak silly little boy, again the ex has had a lucky escape.

This was me although exMIL then tried to take my children away as well! She nearly succeeded. ExH was is a weak spineless waste of oxygen and modern day language used now would involve narcissism (both of them) and EA and financial control. Sounds like she is well rid and with determination and support she'll be successful in her life without these emotional albatrosses dragging her down. My children saw the realities of their own accord and are both now NC with the whole sorry bunch. Some people are just batshit and cruel. Good luck to your friend.

Well she just sounds crazy. And her son sounds like a bit of a shit person hinself.

Well he's a gutless mummy's boy who is still tied to her apron strings at 50!!!
That says a lot about him and the woman is far better off without him.
It's hard but that's the fact of the matter.
Until this 'man' can learn to stand up for himself and his wife and child, things will never improve.
If you know him - get him to google 'FOG - fear obligation guilt'
Also look into narcissistic mothers. NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and toxic mothers.
He can find books on Amazon if he's interested to learn how to deal with it all.