Can I expect my ex to be my guarantor?!

[girlplus]

Exactly that really

Moved in with my boyfriend and it hasn't worked....verbal abuse getting worse and worse

I've said I'm moving out but every place I've looked at need a gauantor
I don't have anyone I can ask apart from my los father ? We were married but split 4 years ago
He's now married and when I asked him before I ended up moving in with my boyfriend
He wasn't keen...saying he didn't want his new wife upset which is understandable
But I have to ask him as I have no one
My mum said he is her father and he shouldn't have a problem doing it ?
But I feel so awkward
When we split 4yrs ago he was my guarantor and I afford it fine with my tax credits and my wages but now he has a wife he said he wasn't keen
I hate I have to ask him
I feel very ashamed and I'm hurt at what my boyfriend has put me through but I need to move out ASAP
So much to sort out but once I have a place I know I'll be ok
I'm just hurt and sad and dreading asking him....

Can your mum not ?

Make your bf move out then you can stay in the house

No. He's your ex.

Tbh I think it's inappropriate. I wouldn't want to do it for my ex, it's his responsibility to make sure the kids have somewhere to live on his side and I wouldn't want to be financially tied to him like that. Also I imagine his wife being unhappy. Your mum would be a better option!

I think he would be justified in saying no. This does not mean you can't ask. But I could understand why he would not wish to do it.

Why can't your mum do it? To be honest it's not appropriate. I wouldn't want to get tied in my exes financials especially not 4 years after a split.

I would ask given and given the abuse,I expect he will agree but don't move in with anyone else for a long time. It's not fair to introduce lots of men to your child.

I know that's what I thought.
It's my boyfriends house which he owns so I can't make him move out!
My mum can't as she only works part time and she doesn't fit the criteria
Otherwise I would ask someone else trust me

Sorry but there's no way id put myself at risk of paying my exs rent no matter what you'd been through. Can your mum not do it?

Sorry x post. Can you look for a council property at all?

I just thought because hes my daughters father
But yeah I do agree with what your saying

I understand that but presumably if worst came to it he could have her live with him? (If you see what im saying) so there's no reason why he should really.

You can't expect it. You can ask but he isn't obligated by any stretch.

Ask the council for a list of agents.
There must be something because not everyone has a guarantor so ll are shooting themselves in the foot really

Of course you can’t expect it, why on earth would you phrase it like that? Given his response last time, I don’t even think it’s appropriate to ask him again as you’re ignoring how uncomfortable you made him before, but if you’re desperate I suppose you’ll have to. He might be able to House your daughter whilst you look for something. Speak to the council or find somewhere that doesn’t need a guarantor.

I know and I wouldn't expect him to
I'll ask him
I have savings so I can pay upfront so might try calling round some agencies
Found one on gumtree so might try asking if they would consider me
Good idea with the council
Ill try Monday

No sorry there is no way I would do it.

Ok so wrong choice of words
Can I ask then ?!
Fair enough if I said demand
I am desperate though! Have I not made that clear
Going to his isn't an option
He works full time and has her 1 night over the weekend and I cover most the holidays
She hardly goes there when they have holidays

You can ask but I wouldn't be surprised if he said no and I wouldn't blame him either. I know you said your mum doesn't fit the criteria but don't you have any other family who would be willing to a guarantor? If not speak to the council.

I remember your previous posts. You and your daughter are in an awful situation at present and you need to get out asap. I would go to council (unlikely they will be able you give you council accommodation as quickly as you need it) as they should be able to help you find private rented accommodation asap. However, i would also swallow your pride and ask your daughter's father. Living with your stbex is not a good place for her! Have a budget drawn up to show that you won't default on the rent and explain the situation, admitting you made an error in judgement. A decent father would not want his daughter left in this situation and i can't believe a stepmother would either! Has your ex's wife told you she'd have a problem or is this coming solely from him?

By the way, have you called Women's Aid as advised many times in your previous post?

No she hasn't just my los father

I know I need to get out.....

I'll call them tomorrow and try that flat I've seen and yes I'll talk to him
Thank you for the advice

My ex is my guarantor. He is my children's dad and we are on good terms.

I think shelter have a guarantor scheme for people who can't get a guarantor.

Is there any way you can offer extra deposit if they accept no guarantor??

My ex was one for me some years ago. Why should it just be you having the burden of 'rehousing' your dc?