Mental Abuse at 25 weeks pregnant

[lydsim25]

Hi guys.. this may be long winded i apologise in aevance.

Ok.. i have 2 children from previous relationship. (8 & 6)
And im now 25 weeks pregnant.
Been with partner 2 years & hes quite a lot older than me.

When i got pregnant he was awful.. told me to have an abortion.. refused to come to appointments.. gave me silent treatment etc... but i kept the baby and i love my unborn son already. He slowly came round and is fine now about the baby.

He said hed move in with me before baby is born but as it stands right now he ruins me daily..

He finishes work at 5/6 but comes to mine late about 9/10.
He lives at his parents after separation of wife so he goes home to eat get ready etc..
So he turns up late n by then im exausted and ready for bed. Hes never here to help me with general things. Many times he doesnt respond to my calls or texts in the day but still turns up late at my house.. even 12pm or 2am sometimes.
Im 25 weeks pregnant and never met his family. Iv mentioned it he brushes it off.. iv met his children thats all. He recently had a passing in his family and i couldnt be there as i havnt met any of thrm.
Hes really isolated me & left me alone. I have to ask for a cuddle & kiss he just throws me crumbs. He said his family know about me and baby so why doesnt he take me round there?
Me and my children are always alone he totally does his own thing. Iv left him a few times and he gives me silent treatment then turns up at my door sayin im too good 4 him and i can do better and he makes me miserable (sob story) hes raised his voice at me on ocasion.
He disapears sometimes and i dont hear from him. He says hes at home but i cant really check as i dont know his family.
Iv told him iv had enough etc so hes giving me silent treatment again. I cant do this no more i feel empty & drained. I suport him love him everything and get ignored. He use to look through my phone etc but hasnt for a while. I sit and cry and long for him one weekend to say lets take the kids out or something. Never anything. I feel hes controlling my life. He says he wants to live together before baby comes but hes doing nothing in the mean time to gel with us and bond etc
I feel pushed out his life so much iv done research and he shows many signs of emotional abuse

I feel alone isolated and sorry for my kids. They are so excited to meet their brother but this situation is hostile x

Why are you with someone who treats you so poorly? He sees you as someone to go and see when he feels like it, as an afterthought from what you describe. Is that all you think you're worth?
There's no love, affection, commitment from someone like him and your self esteem must be completely shot to think that is all you deserve.
You deserve far, far better OP. Your children deserve a million times better. They are so young, so vulnerable.
Don't put the twat's name on the baby's birth certificate because if you do, he'll think he has rights over you and you'll never move forward. And stop being so bloody nice! Get fucking angry with the bastard. You are teaching your children how to be walked over...is that what you want for them when they grow up?
Do the Freedom Programme please because your low self esteem is leading you into horrible relationships that an intelligent, caring, responsible person like yourself really does not deserve.

Get rid of him. He's no help to you anyway. Rather than pining after that idiot, do something nice with your kids yourself, involve them in preparing for their baby brother, maybe join some antenatal classes to make friends with other mums in your area.
Also, I had a friend whose boyfriend would never take her to his house or introduce her to his family and he was seeing another woman who he actually had a baby with and didn't tell my friend until she rang him and heard a baby crying in the background. So, to me, that is hugely suspicious behaviour.

Thanks for your messages.. actualy made me laugh i needed that.
Im usualy confident, out spoken etc but being with a man like that makes you question yourself.. iv blocked him out my phone but i know hel turn up one day.. just gona lock the doors. Im just worried cus i know one day ill have to talk to him for the baby?? Fear of the unknown xx

So you've been with him 2 years and never met his family? Didn't that ring alarm bells before you got pregnant?? Honestly I wonder if your the ow. Sounds like it from what I'm reading.

Does he have keys to yours? Change the locks, OP and never let him back in. He’s refusing to commit to you and I’m sorry, but you’re a mug if you ever think he will.

He has a key yes .. he cant get in if my keys in the door but will get locks changed x

@lydsim25

Curious. What advice were you hoping to receive by posting?

Just general

He is not separated from his wife.
how come you got pg.What contraception were you using?

It sounds like he didn’t split up from his wife I’m afraid OP. Or he did but has no intention of starting a proper family again.

Bit late to talk about contreception... thats not what im here for.

@5plusMeAndHim
Why is that relevant? No contraception is 100% effective.
The fact is she IS pregnant. Asking her what contraception she used feels a little disingenuous.

The fact is OP this man is bad news. You know that already.

Please don't move in with him (I doubt he's free to do so anyway).

He will end up destroying you AND your children.

He sounds completely pointless.

Until you realise that you will keep engaging with him.

The only engagement I’d be having from heronin is surprising him with CSA forms

So is he still with his wife OP?

No she has a new life i know that from what his kids say x

Why do you think he hasnt introduced you to his family op? Your over half way through your pregnancy and still haven't met them. Though tbh you should have met them at some point in the two years before you even fell pregnant.

It's a good job he doesn't live with you. End the relationship. He's as useful as a chocolate teapot.

If he isn't interested in his own child, why would you think he would be interested in yours?

First congratulations on your baby bump.
I don't think your actually in a relationship with him. You just know a horrid man who shows up once a day. Who owns your home? I'd advise you change the locks and put his things in a bin liner on the door step. Do you know where his parents live? When your son arrives send them a card with a photo showing them their grandson. Do you have family near by? Or a friend you can talk to?

Gosh, there are some unsupportive folks out there. I don't have much advice but it sounds like an awful situation. Sorry that things are so bad. Please distance yourself from him and make sure you are protected financially.