Depression and relationship breakdown during pregnancy

[Availableusername]

I suffered PND with DC1 so have been more vigilant for any signs during pregnancy with DC2. I am pretty sure that I am developing depression again as my relationship is breaking down and I've been struggling at work. I can not speak to my midwife about this as she is friends with MIL and I would not feel comfortable in doing so. What can I do now and who can I talk to? I can not face the day today and I'm under a duvet, feel very alone and scared for the future. I do not want to take time off work as it means more time in the house to think about things and I don't want to go to work particularly either. I have no family close by to stay with.

This sounds awful, op.
Do you have any friends you can talk to?
Tbh - your midwife should be professional enough not to pass on any information about you to your mil, friends or not.

It's more about her "knowing" than passing on information I think. I have friends and have cancelled on friends for this evening as I'm such terrible company and can not face getting myself ready. I am more sensitive when feeling like this and I've no doubt that the slightest disagreeing comment will be taken to heart. I'd be a total kill-joy. I feel I've complained so much about DH lately and our problems, I'm boring people to tears.

If you have good friends, they won't be bored to tears. I know I wouldn't be if one of my friends was in this situation.

I think I'm also embarrassed.
Pregnant and relationship falling apart isn't the best situation to be in. Having had relationship troubles in the past and now be pregnant and experiencing them again, I'm sure is going to raise questions and eyebrows.

I'm sorry things are so difficult at the moment OP. It sounds as though you are going to need help from your midwife/hv and possibly the perinatal mental health team. The sooner you get some help the sooner you can start to feel better. Can you ask to be referred to a different midwife? How old is your older child? Do you still have a health visitor? Perhaps they would be a good starting point?

You need to change your midwife OP and then see if you can be referred to a perinatal midwife who specialises in mental health too who can support you alongside your community midwife. I had pnd with my first child and now I’m expecting my second, I’ve been very open with my midwife about my struggles. She has referred me to a perinatal midwife specialising in mental health who has been brilliant. I’ve been given a community support nurse who will visit me every couple of weeks before and after baby is born (if I need it) plus put me in contact with my local ‘Healthy Minds’ which I’ve used in the past when at particularly low points. We’ve put in place a plan of support that I can call on should I feel that pnd is returning. We’ve also discussed meds as last time I suffered in silence for a long time. I feel very supported ( Which for me is half the battle won when it comes to my MH) and as though I have a number of ‘handrails’ that I can access quickly and when required. I’d feel the same concern about your midwife so please do change ASAP so that you can start getting the support that you need. 💐