I was with this person for over 15 years, he was violent but what was worse was the bullying, he would wear me down till I felt like I was nothing and wanted to die. He still sees my youngest son once a week, I have had to fight hard to gain control and lay down boundaries with him, mostly over him thinking he should still be able to come in my home and shout/swear at me. Since an incident in November when he became abusive after walking into my hall without asking, I've barely seen him and I've been so happy.
My washing machine broke today and I was desperate, asked if he could lend me the money for a week at the most, he agreed at first but then changed his mind and spent half an hour on the phone bullying me into agreeing to let him come in the house. This is a man who has raped me, hit me and my older son, I feel completely alone and can't cope with it any more. I have nightmares about him and am shaking and feel ill after this row with him. I have really bad anxiety too, can anyone help, sorry if I'm not making sense.