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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Partners weed habbit

21 replies

Wonderwoman38 · 25/01/2018 16:55

I'm at my wits end with my partner smoking weed everyday.
As soon as he gets up he starts smoking then is on his ps4 GTA game till he goes to bed at 2/3 in morning.
I try talking to him about this but says I'm just moaning, he stinks the house out as he keeps it in his pocket.
I have 3 young children and he is no help what so ever the house is in both out names so if i ask him to leave he won't go.
I feel trapped not knowing what to do as if i go with the children i will be making myself homeless.
Our relationship is dead i feel like i have a lodger more then a partner and dad to my children, any advise would be appreciated.

OP posts:
BrownJenkins · 25/01/2018 19:39

Does he work? How old is?
My niece, who lives with me, is 17 and addicted to weed. She had a job but gave it up, for weed. All she does all day is smoke it and then beg me for money to buy more.
I don't let her smoke it in the house. It's the vilest smell imaginable, in my opinion.

Rainbowqueeen · 25/01/2018 19:45

Can you report to SS? Make it clear that you want him gone but need help to do so

They should be able to help. I assume you don't want him to have unsupervised contact with the DC after he goes so they may need to be involved anyway to facilitate that

Original poster
Wonderwoman38 · 25/01/2018 20:16

He is 35 and dont work due to having Schizophrenia ive already had social involved and they were not to fused about him smoking it as long as its not in the house.
I agree the smell is awful and seeing him stoned all the time reàlly annoys me.

OP posts:
Mousewatch · 25/01/2018 20:30

Do you rent your home?

Where does he smoke it?

TemptressofWaikiki · 25/01/2018 20:31

Anonymous tip to the drug squad when he is off to buy more...?

newtlover · 25/01/2018 20:34

how is he paying for it?
do you have a joint claim? is he using your money to buy it?

Original poster
Wonderwoman38 · 25/01/2018 20:40

Joint claim yes , we rent from council he goes in garden to smoke it.
He sends money to his mate then he post it to our address which im far from happy about.
He just dont care what i say

OP posts:
Mousewatch · 25/01/2018 20:44

So he's using the money for you and your children for drugs. Is he their dad?

Your neighbours must love him for doing it outside. Id report him to the housing

Original poster
Wonderwoman38 · 25/01/2018 21:01

He is only the youngest dad, and the man next door smokes it as well if i reported him he would just deny it.

OP posts:
TemptressofWaikiki · 25/01/2018 21:04

Well, he can't deny it if authorities are aware of the mail delivery.

SD1978 · 25/01/2018 21:05

I’d say, sorry, either leave or accept it. You got together with him, I assume, when he did this. He has continued to do this, and has no intention of stopping doing this. He didn’t start after you got together (I assume) you can’t change someone else. You need to leave, or make him leave. If he wants to address his addiction, he will. But unless this suddenly started after you got together/ you knew you were involving you and your children with an addict. And I say this as someone who made, and regrets making, the same mistake.

Wolfiefan · 25/01/2018 21:08

He isn't a partner though is he? He's a gaming and drug addict. He doesn't work? So how would you be homeless if you split? Do your kids a favour. He needs to go.

Original poster
Wonderwoman38 · 25/01/2018 21:15

When we got to together he never used it only started 2 years ago said he needed it to help him sleep at night.

OP posts:
greekyoghurt · 25/01/2018 21:16

Leave the waste of space.

NewBrian · 25/01/2018 21:22

If you’ve got a joint tenancy with the council you can get him out, the council will get an order in place. If necessary the council will move you x

HotSteppa · 25/01/2018 22:33

My husband used to smoke weed every evening. He quit about 2 years ago (unexpected events , big wake up call) he now says he didn't realise the effect it had on him and I think I put a lot down to personality too. He was practically mute for much of the evening. Grumpy, groggy and hard to wake in the morning. Quitting has been so good for him and our kids and saved our marriage too.
I think if you have been around weed for a long time you normalised it's use and get used to being around stoned people , not stoned people having a giggle and enjoying the experience, but zonked out zombies using day in day out. The using alongside his schizophrenia would bother me too.
Can you talk to him about it. Does he think it's a problem and want to change? If not and you've had enough I think you must know he probably has to go. Not sure how you go about that practically. Has he got family or friends he could go to?

Original poster
Wonderwoman38 · 26/01/2018 09:15

Hes only grumpy when he runs out ive tried to talk with him but he dont wanna know its like talking to a brick wall.
His family live in Leicester and so does his friends so he has no one around this area and even his mum wont have him to stay, thats why he wont leave has there is no where for him to go.
If he dont have the weed then he drinks he just lives a sad life.

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 26/01/2018 09:27

I have no idea how council houses work.
Could you go to your local council and tell them all this?
Maybe start with Shelter.
See what they suggest.

FizzyGreenWater · 26/01/2018 09:30

Go to your council and ask for advice. Also Shelter is a good idea.

They could possibly get him off the tenancy OR move you and the children??

I have no idea if this is possible but that's the place to start.

newtlover · 26/01/2018 15:50

you need help OP, this is no good for you or the children. He is spending money that should be for you and the kids (I'm assuming weed isn't cheap and god knows if you are living on benefits you need every penny for necessities). In a way he is stealing from you and the children. If he's stoned all the time he isn't really being a parent is he, plus he is setting an awful example, and breaking the law.

Go to the council and/or talk to your health visitor, keep trying till you get some help.
good luck

Hairgician · 26/01/2018 17:16

Hes a waster who is spending money needed for the kids. Sling him out. I wouldn't tolerate a partner smoking shit or gaming all day.

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