Feel so low please help

[Kee80]

Hi all I'm new to this sorry if I've posted it wrong place.
Basically I'm 37 have a wonderful 13 year old son. Last year I suffered 2 miscarriages 1 at 9 weeks and 1 at 6 weeks. Both pregnancies were unplanned but I was so happy. Partner not so happy! When I lost my babies I was heartbroken my world fell to pieces.
It's been exactly a year since my first loss and all I can think about is wanting another baby more than anything, the thing is my partner doesn't. He doesn't have any children.
I'm feeling really low about this I'm unsure what to do, I'm really starting to resent my partner I've always dreamed of having another child and he's always told me he'd have one with me that was 11 years ago. Now it's a big no!
I can't can't cope feeling like this it's all I think about every day I'm really unsure what to do. Should I just get in my head that that is it now I'm 37 and already have a son so I should be grateful for him (which I am). I feel I'm to old now to move on and try and meet someone who wants the same. I just wish I knew all this years ago, I feel he has wasted my time and life.
Any advice from anyone please or anyone in a similar situation please help. Thanks x

You are only 37. You are definitely not too old to move on. You got pregnant twice, naturally within the last year. If having another baby is really important to you, and your partner is adamant he doesn't want to have a child with you, then you have to have a conversation with him about it. You will end up feeling resentful and bitter towards him. Tell him this. Maybe he doesn't realise how important having another child is to you.

Good luck.

Thank you so much for your reply. I'm already starting to feel resentment towards him and I'm a way I feel bad. He really is such a nice guy and wonderful with my son it's just all this has caused so many problems.
I've tried talking to him, it always ends up in an argument and him saying if your not happy you know what to do.. get rid of me! It's like he won't open up to me.
I wish I had the strength to go I'm just so scared of I do I will regret it and end up on my own. It's such an hard time

Maybe it would be better to split up. Feeling angry and resentful all the time is no way to live. And as the years go by, it's going to get worse. Can you talk to someone impartial about this? You say he's such a nice guy - well, he needs to understand how much this is affecting you.

I wish you well.

I've spoke to my sister and friends they just basically tell me the same you have. I know in my heart of hearts I should split. But I really do love him despite all this. It's such an hard decision for me, my heads all over. Was thinking about seeing my doctor not sure I need antidepressants.
Thanks again for listening just feel so alone at the minute xx

I'm glad you've got a good support network in real life. I don't reckon you need antidepressants though, there is a specific reason why you are feeling so low. Medication isn't going to alter the underlying cause. Listen to your sister and your friends, ask them to help you find somewhere else to live, leave your partner, and put yourself back out there in time, there's no need for you to stay with someone who is making you so unhappy - you may feel that you love him, but is it enough? It doesn't sound like it is.

Your right medication isn't going to help at all I thought that myself. The house we live in is mine so I wouldn't need to find anywhere he has is own house.. something he did that didn't involve me. Bought an house : years ago never asked if I wanted to but with him!! Seems he has issues when it comes to commitment with me.. even after 11 years! Think I really need a bit of time alone see what I really want. Only problem we have a weekend away booked next weekend, present for my son. Need to get that out of the way first xx

Bought the house 3 years ago I ment and never involved me!!

Sorry to go on at you. I was thinking about writing him a letter telling him all my feelings.. then maybe when he's alone he will read it and maybe it will sink in. Sorry I sound desperate xx

Write him a letter and give him an ultimatum. If he has a separate house it doesn't sound as if he is committed to a life with you 100% anyway. I think you should cut your losses and dump him (after your son's birthday weekend maybe) and find someone who wants the same things that you do. Life is too short to be so unhappy.

Your 100% right in what your saying. Think I've had my head in the clouds for far to long now. I really do need to sort something out and change my life for the better now... maybe we were just ment to be good friends, nothing more. Thanks so much for your advice I have some hard decisions to make now xx

Good luck with everything. I hope the next time I see you posting on here, it'll be on the pregnancy boards.