Affair husband in love with OW can marriage survive?

[Mangoandpassionfruit]

H and I married for 25 years, two sons. Indian Hindu family. Mutual respect and ‘love’ no sex and passion, very different personalities. He met a woman he works with, very senior, friendship then developed into sex. He told me straight away but said wanted to carry on with marriage for children. He loves her but he is senior figure in community and does not want divorce. I was very upset when I know he loves her and shares so much with her. I am so upset.

From what I understand, adultery is considered shameful in a Hindu marriage and both families will put pressure on him to stop the affair so you need to tell them what is happening. Your DH can't be considered a pillar of the community while he continues to cheat on his wife.

I understand that divorce may be a shameful thing in your community; however, if you keep their secret, not only are you settling for another 40-50 years of feeling like second-best, but you will still be longing for something you don’t have. You said your marriage has no sex and no passion, and that you’re jealous of the laughter and closeness they share. Even if he stops contacting this woman, you are unlikely to develop these things in your marriage to this man. Is it really worth wasting your whole life in a relationship without passion or intimacy?

No, your marriage cannot survive. Nor should it.

Yes your marriage can survive but you’re going to act your ass off and even then, there’s no guarantee that he’ll stay. He wants his cake, it’s up to you wether you take a front row seat in watching him eat it.

The truth will out in the end.