So how do i go ripping her little world apart?

[HumptyDumpty9]

Hi there

A few months ago i found out my partner had cheated on me with a work colleague. The affair was going on for about 6 weeks when i found out. I was absolutely devastated and still am.

I agreed to try on work on things as our relationship had been so bad leading up to the affair, we were living as housemates rather than partners and also we have DD6.

We went to counselling, he left his job and started a new one and has done a lot to show me he has made a huge mistake. I do genuinely believe he regrets it so much and even does get emotional quite a bit as he is afraid i will leave.

Anyway fast forward a few months and i know my heart is just not in it. I can never forget or forgive him for what he has done. I look at him sometimes and feel such hate. Although i love him there is always this cloud hanging over the relationship. I dont trust him and have lost all respect.

Since the affair he has made a huge effort with our DD6 to do more with her as he kind of just did his own thing for quite a while and working abroad when she was younger led to not much of a bond between them. In the last few months they have spent so much time together and have developed a good bond.

I feel like i need to end things but how do i even go about trying to explain this to DD6 when finally everything is so much better, just for me its not enough. I well up with tears of the thought of breaking up her family. Please someone whop has been through this give me some advice. Thank You.

If you think he might turn nasty it's best to hold off saying anything to him until you have a clear plan together. Get some advice on your legal position with the house and plan what you can afford once you start your job. Good luck for your new future, hope there's a properly loving partner in it.

Get legal advice now do you know where you stand.

You need as much info as you can get to plan for this to go smoothly.

Yes I think I do need a plan first though I'm currently in the last year of my degree and won't be finished till May don't know if I can hold out till then but I won't be independent until I start my job ...this is such a mess I would love to be able to move on and forget but I know I can't the trust is gone and I will never forget what he did it still hurts...i did try but its not in me..he has changed so much and has become so loving and kind but it's just too little too late unfortunately we got together very young and stayed together because of our DD but now I know we should have ended things a long time ago.

Have a look on 'entitleto' it will give you an idea of what benefits you could be entitled to as a single parent. You can apply for pretty much all of the benefits via online so makes I much easier. It will help you plan your finances and what you can / cannot afford.

If the house is joint names, then you will be entitled to 50/50 of any profit from the sale of that house. Or, your OH could buy you out of your share?

As for your daughter, they big key here is how you both as parents handle the situation and co parent once the split has happened. My parents split when I was 3 and they both handled the situation dreadfully (I have no relationship with either now and I'm 45).

I split with my sons father when he was 2yrs old, my son lives with me 100% and sees his father twice a week. My son has no desire to stay over at his fathers house (he's now 6) and is (on a whole) a happy well balanced little boy. It is all how you handle the situation, the support and the relationship you build with your child.

He's asked you when you'll be having more children?!

Double up on the contraception, OP. The last thing you need now would be to fall pregnant. Then you'd be properly fucked.