Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've worked it out!

10 replies

Weepingwillow1990 · 22/01/2018 12:58

I wrote a post earlier today about a strange situation I didn't understand. After many comments from you all I have worked out what it was all about.
My partner is a porn addict and masturbates more than we have ever had sex. I get rejected a lot and he will sneak off to pleasure himself in the night or very early hours.
He's also had two affairs/cheated on me. And has sent and received a stupid amount of messages and photos to other women.
The first affair/cheat was four years ago. I didn't find out about this till later on. The second affair was two years ago, with a girl who lived on our street. We moved house five months later and he got a new job then too. That's when he started working with this old crush. And when I found out about the first affair. Within a week or two the other man started staring at me and smiling at me. It made me feel nice again, and beautiful. Which is something I don't usually feel. I've had sever depression for a couple of years (since the second affair) This is what the problem was the whole time. Just me feeling nice again, my depression is lifted from my shoulders just for those few moments. But the crying is because I was/am so frustrated about the whole situation because I want that attention from my partner, not an old crush.
So I thank you all so, so much for helping me understand my confusion. You really have no idea how much this has helped.

OP posts:
LittleLights · 22/01/2018 13:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Weepingwillow1990 · 22/01/2018 13:09

And no I can't just leave him. We have too much tied up together and no savings. His family have made threats to take our children away from me should our relationship end. They claimed it will be due to my depression and that they would have concerns for the children. His uncle is a solicitor so I know they'd do it. They aren't very nice people sadly. And I have no family and no friends so I wouldn't have anyone to fight my corner and no money to pay for the legal help. I do love him, but I'm well aware I'm kind of trapped too.

OP posts:
Weepingwillow1990 · 22/01/2018 13:09

Yes I am still with him.

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 22/01/2018 13:36

You need to leave.
Ignore his families threats.
That is just what they are - threats.
They CANNOT take your children away.
Do you have family you can go to?
Please contact Rights For Women.
They can help you with local support.
You do NOT have to stay with a lying, cheating scumbag.
Please get to your local GUM clinic or SHAW clinic and get checked for STD's/STI's
You deserve far far better than this.
This is a horrible example to be setting your daughter.
She will choose someone just like your partner if you stay.
Get some outside help and leave.

Merryoldgoat · 22/01/2018 13:40

People can't just take your children away. Don't believe bullshit people spout. Contact Rights of Women as Melons said and get some proper advice.

He repeatedly cheats on you and you don't have any intimacy. How long are you going to live like this?

RandomMess · 22/01/2018 13:43

Please speak to Woman's Aid they will help you and the DC leave Thanks

Emmageddon · 22/01/2018 13:46

Do his family know about his addiction to porn? Do they know he has cheated on you twice? They might not be so willing to stand by him if they knew what a scumbag he is.

Ignore their threats. Get some impartial advice and make plans to leave this awful relationship.

Life is short. Don't put up with being second best. I did read your other thread, and it was obvious the other man is providing you with a much needed fantasy escape. Make a real escape from the situation you're in, for the sake of your self and your DC.

Fantasticmissfoxy · 22/01/2018 13:56

In the kindest possible way - it doesn't matter if his uncle is the Lord Chief Justice himself, they cannot take your children just because they fancy it!

You will never get better until you get away from this man. Right away - like a different county. There is nothing else that will help until you make that leap

LittleLights · 22/01/2018 14:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Weepingwillow1990 · 22/01/2018 14:40

Yes they know

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page