Ok so my and my ex have been separated for 4 1/2 years hes been in a relationship for 4 years i have been in a relationship for 3 years. The children live with me (he lives a hour away) The set up is he is supposed to have them 3 Saturdays then one off (so on his weekend off he doesn't see them for 2 full weeks ) The relationship has always been bitter. He has 0 respect for me. The police have been a called a number times for him kicking off in front off them hes made various threats to me family members my partner, he tries to intimidate and scare me. Refuses to go along with anything i say and goes out of his way to make things difficult. He pays their maintenance when he wants misses regular but never catches up his attitude is its tuff sh*t.
The oldest doens't want to go regular as hes fed up with broken promises and the way his dad is with me infront of them hes very protective. So recently he told me that his gf is pregnant and already its starting to effect the kids. he didnt turn up for them this wekeend next weekend is my weekend also so that will be 4 weeks he wont see them at all. This happens regular. Hes changed his job to nights not informed me and told me he wants me to now do the travel. 1st he is more than capable of picking them up from school on a friday in stead of the saturday morning. His partner and his mum both drive. I get very little time where i'm without my kids to do the things i needs to do, washing, ironing, cleaning, errands and meeting with friends or just to relax whatever. I have got the the point where its easier for the kids to stay home its not worth the hassle today because i wont make that trip for him 3 weeks out of 4 ive got massive essays from his partner about im vile and my kids will see me for what i am etc hes not coming for them or i can wait in sat till he gets up threats endless messages and missed calls. I literally cant cope with it anymore. I want my kids to have a relationship with their dad and i most certainly enjoy the break when they go but i cant take it anymore the BS. I've suggested mediation he refuses. I've considered a non-molestation order but i can't afford a lengthy court battle and wouldnt be entitled to legal aid as i ern too much. My oldest has special needs of which his dads never had any involvement in appointments etc he never beleived me and laughed at me when i said there was something wrong with him when he was little and its very hard when something kicks off he kicks off and its very unsettling and difficult to deal with him his behaviour effects the kids and im not saying i don't react because i do which doesn't help but its just all too much i would rather no contact ive suggested his mum doing pick ups he wont do it ive suggested many things hes just awkward and wont budge on anything but wants me to do it for him. I do enough all week with school runs work after school hospital appointments homework etc all the normal mum stuff washing cooking bath time cleaning i don't then need to pick up his pieces because he cant arrange his 3 days a month for his own kids. Any suggestions i'm at my wits end. I don't want to be the mum who stops them from going to force him to see a a solicitor but this isn't healthy for me or my kids.