Can you fall in love again?

[drknmky]

Hi,

I have been married nearly 6 years and it has had its minor ups and downs like most relationships but we were happy, both working, doing lots together but after 2/3 years we realised having a baby wasn't going to be possible. Subsequently we tried IVF but it didn't work. After tears and heartbreak I said we could still adopt one day once we have a house etc and better off financially as we heard adoption can be difficult. Years later I thought all was going well, we were saving for a house, my wife is from abroad and has said that she misses her family and friends and didn't really make friends here in the UK. Recently she has said she is uncertain about the future, and our future together and she isn't even sure if she loves me anymore and can't even say the words 'I love you' it was like a stake in the heart as I love her dearly. I want to know if it's possible for someone to fall in love again with that person, if it's even worth trying to fix it as it may cause more hurt and pain, I have said I am willing to try and fix it but don't really know if it's possible having never been in this situation before.

Is best to have a break and give her more time? But then I am sitting here suffering waiting on a string waiting for her to sort her life out?

It's difficult as she was probably very isolated and only had you for support and comfort.
I'm sure she still loves you but probably not the way she used to before all the 'tears and heartbreak' took their toll on the relationship.
Have you tried counselling or going away somewhere together to reinvest in the marriage?

If your question is really 'can I make my wife fall in love with me again' the answer is no. No one can make another person feel something they don't.

I'm not saying she doesn't still love you, but she'll need to figure that out for herself. The best thing you can do right now is to step back and let her do that. I don't necessarily think it means you have to live separately, unless she's already says she wants to separate, just that you must become friends again rather than lovers. The only way she'll be able to figure out how she truly feels is if she doesn't feel pressured.

In the meantime, be sure you develop some interests on your own and encourage her to do the same. That's part of both of you 'sorting your lives out'.

Nothing in her life looks how she wanted. Away from friends and family; no baby to love. It is so hard to live away from people you love and things you grew up with. She's probably very unhappy. Was there ever a suggestion about living in her country?