Are you a doormat?

[rowan1971]

Following on from this thread, I dug out this quote, which used to live on the bathroom mirror of the first house I shared with my DP:

'None of us wants to look our servitude in the eye, because then we can't dodge the truth that men's continued dominance is achieved by our voluntary submission. By serving them in this way, we are showing them and the world that they and their leisure (seven times greater than ours) are more important than anything in our lives.' (Rosalind Miles commenting on figures from the Office of National Statistics that showed that even when both partners work full-time, the woman does three times as much housework as the man.)

If this is true when both partners work out of the home, how much more true when one is a SAHM? I've spent most of the day fuming about the fact that I do all of the financial/admin/form-filling/school-finding/house-hunting in this family - oh go on then, all of these things, all of the time - but the, maybe it's my own fault...

It is just division of labour. If you don't like it, do something about it.

I find laziness a great panacea to division of labour issues in this house.

Not sure I would recommend it though.

I tend to look at these things by working backwards.

Although I work P/T and do 99% of the domestic stuff, I can still get most things done during the day, meaning DH & I both get to enjoy the evenings and not be trying to get chores done.

However, if I was spending all evening doing stuff and DH was sitting around with his feet up drinking whisky and smoking a pipe in his slippers, I would change things.

rowan I'm with you on this one. I had big rant with dh last night on exactly same issue.

Go on strike. Go on!!!

lol
xx

The thing is, if I went on strike, we'd be declared bankrupt or imprisoned before the DP got around to opening any of the letters...

How hard is it to open the letters and deal with the contents though, really? Isn't this more to do with the fact that you feel you are doing everything? Can't you see that you may well be doing everything at home, but dp is doing all the work outside the home? Both sets of work need to be done, and, at the moment, he is doing one and you are doing the other. That is how I try to see it, anyway. Also, I quite like being the one who pays all the bills and makes decisions about what needs doing/buying etc as it helps me to feel in control. Without that input, I really would feel like the unpaid servant.

I also agree with FrayedKnot that whatever you do, it has to be done during the day, as I personally cannot bear to do jobs while dh is sitting in front of the tv or otherwise relaxing.

I don't think anyone finds it hard to open letters and deal with stuff. It's just time consuming.

Work pretty much finshes when you clock off but SAHM is 24hour day job. I'm cutting my hours by going back to work!