Off sick due to work

[Tinklikescoffee]

Apologies long story, signed off sick for minimum of three weeks due to stress. This has been coming for a while due to toxic/lazy LM; complicated as we’re employed by two different organisations. Raised issues to my employer with a view to raising grievance last year,, management decided mediation best course of action. Timing not great as mediation set for early Jan, unfortunately, a difficult time always for me personally even when things going well! Having met with mediator for one to one session, decided joint mediation ‘not right’ for me as feeling very emotional, isolated and if situation we were in was my doing. Can’t see me going back at the moment, feeling very down and lonely, anyone have any tips to stay strong please.

Thank you for the flowers {smile}

I'm sorry I have no words of advice. It sounds like an intolerable situation. You must put yourself first!

Pamper yourself, try and rest while you are off sick. What sort of job do you do, would you be happier somewhere new, I hope you are ok. Lazy toxic managers make so many people's lives miserable, they never change. Keep strong and we know you deserve better.

Urgh. Well as your company have acknowledged there's a problem they should now be looking into alternative ways of sorting things out. While you're off, ring ACAS for some impartial advice - and yes, absolutely pamper yourself and give yourself loads of 'time off'.

Oh, and if you feel up to it, ring round some agencies and get a realistic idea of what's around by way of opportunities. Might help you to have a better feel for what your options are.

I feel your pain. I too have a useless, inexperienced line manager who has frankly brought down the department and I’m catching the flack. I’m not yet at the point of getting signed off, but the line manager’s incompetence and inaction may well force me.

Will they offer any counselling? If not could you fund some yourself maybe? Although the most likely thing to help you is a new line manager. Would they be willing to give you a different manager?. Otherwise whatever has happened to cause you stress will likely just happen again.

Thank you for the great advice and support; definitely going to look into other opportunities whilst I’m off. I’m on waiting list for ‘talking therapies’ through the GP but nothing from work as yet. Just wish I could stop blaming myself for situation.

Please don't blame yourself, look for a different job where you feel valued, you won't regret it.

Do you feel up to applying for new jobs? I've just handed my notice in after finding a great job - life really is too short to stay in a job that causes this much stress.

Yes defo up to applying for jobs peachy, my CV ready but would be really grateful of any tips anyone has for me. I’m feeling very anxious at the moment which is not nice, especially when I’m home dwelling on things.

What sort of job would you like to do

Would love to work in vets as love animals, but my background is all PA/ Senior admin, because I have fibromyalgia unable to do physical type of role with animals.

Vets need admin so why not apply for that.

How about admin or reception with gets or an animal charity. C

Do you drive.

Yes I can drive retired, which helps.

Where in the country do you live. Indeed have vetinary admin jobs all over the UK. I'd like to work with animals too.

West Midlands, I’m watching job sites like a hawk!

Good luck, hope you find a nice job.

Thank you

I was in your shoes this time last year and, ironically, am in the West mids! Must be something in the water... Was off for 2.5 months and didn't go back. I tried to keep myself really busy, did things around the house, invited friends over, took my pets out, otherwise my anxiety and stress completely took over! Why don't you take on a project whilst your off? Overhaul a piece of furniture? Something crafty? Just remember, this is not your fault and your company should have taken measures to stop this from happening before it did!! Sending 💐 and hoping you feel better soon.

Lovely message Jamboree, really helpful. Not heard from anyone at work, even those I'm friendly with which isn't nice. I'm keeping myself as busy as possible and have two lovely doggies for company. It's weird how being 'off sick' messes with your head.

It really does massively mess with your head. You'll get there though.

Don't read too much into the no contact from others at work. I had quite a few like that who didnt contact but only because they knew I needed a clean break from work, so weren't sure whether I wanted them to get in contact.

Why don't you join some local doggy walking groups? my two loved that when I was off!

Yes great idea, I've also applied for a couple of jobs which makes me feel better, although a good nights sleep would be nice!