I've just been verbally abused and I'm shaking

[tinkertailorsoildersailor]

DP came home in a tetchy mood, from a day of doing sport. Was generally antsy and reactive. I cooked dinner. He ate that at the table, then wanted a biscuit, which was in the cupboard behind me. He shouted at me to move, which I didn't so he shoved my chair (with me on it), I stormed off to the living room, he followed me, saying 'I'm sitting there, get off' and cos I didn't he yelled at me in front of the kids. I ended up crying, then he shouted 'you're pathetic' all in front of the kids.... I'm shaking and sobbing....

Thanks for your replies much appreciated. The odd thing is, I'm a strong, independent, educated person, a feminist, professional job (not that I'm saying the exempts me), but I feel pissed off that I've become embroiled in this! As a pp said, at times I feel too drained to do anything properly.... I build myself up all week, through nice encounters with sane, normal people, then at the end, he knocks me down again.... I keep getting back up, but as a PP said, it's probably having more of an impact than I realise.

He de-stabilises you because he knows how you tick. The reason you're probably in this predicament is maybe because it's insidiously slow over time so gradual got used to it?

This is not your fault OP

Can I ask if you think the violence was because you didn't move? What I am trying to ask is, does this behaviour happen when he does not get his own way?

He was looking for an excuse to be aggressive. The biscuit was an excuse. Wanting to sit in the seat you chose was an excuse.

Can you stop cooking for him or any other things, laundry etc?

You can leave temporarily and obtain an order that allows for him to be legally removed from the property and kept away for I think 30 Days? Regardless of his name being on the house as well as yours. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE call NCDV or Women's Aid if you can get through. NCDV can arrange the order for you. Costs nothing

If you won't do it for you, do it for your kids. You can speak to people like women's aid and a solicitor without having made a decision but just to think it through more if you're not sure you're ready to leave yet.