Couples counselling...

[Pombliboo123]

Basically, what is it, what does it involve and does it work? If it does work... how and why?

Basically me and DP broke up 6 months ago... decided to try again but the same issues that led to the break up (on both sides) are still very much there. We both love each other very much and want it to work but without working through these issues I just don't see a future.

Helpful bump 😁

Well I can tell you what happened in our first session.

He asked why we had come to counselling.

I told him my issues, DH told his. Talked about when things started going downhill. What had happened in that time period (redundancy, cancer and death, broken limb, autism diagnosis). Talked about how we met, what we liked about the other person. How things had been throughout the relationship. Our parents' relationship. Then he said he thought we had a very good foundation, and that isnt something he says to everyone.

What worked for us was 1. Hearing all those stresses listed - it would put any relationship under pressure. 2 Hearing that we had a good foundation just felt like recognition.

We had one more session but the first one made SUCH a difference for us. We had more sex in the following 2 weeks than wed had in the previous 2 years.

I'm interested to hear what people say. I think me and dh seriously need counselling but I have broached the subject several times with him flatly refusing.
He says he doesn't like taking about things so why would he talk at a counselling session.

Thanks @redexpat ... exactly the sort of thing I was looking for. DP isn't a big fan of getting started talking but seems okay once he gets going. We just seem to go round and round in circles though

Dh and I have our first session booked for Monday. I’ve asked in the past and he has always refused but I found out about an affair he had 8 yrs ago and he’s begged for another chance and went straight out to noon this session.