Please tell me how to stop feeling broken hearted

[Needaneusername]

Will I ever feel normal again? Please help. I have noone to talk to

Since he started taking the ADs it was like his personality changed. They keep upping his dose but they didn't seem to be helping him at all. It's like he is addicted to them. I don't know if they are addictive.

Chocolate I think you're right and it did overwhelm him.

It sounds as if he is being closely monitored by various mental health professionals which is good, his dose or medication will be adjusted or changed until they find the appropriate treatment for him. Different people react differently to AD's so there is no "one size fits all" if you see what I mean. Unfortunately it can be a bit hit and miss until then, it can be alarming to friends and family to see increase in dosages but if monitored carefully it is safe.

He has blocked me. That's it now. I'm out of his life forever.

That's it.

I fucking hate myself. I was typing a message out, I didn't mean to send it. I've been doing that all day and deleting them not sending.

Don’t hate yourself. It sounds like he has some problems, but given his decision to end the relationship these are no longer your concern, and it’d be best to focus on your own mental health.

No longer my concern

He is currently navigating his way through a mental health crisis, I'm sure he meant all the things he said to you but at the moment his mental health must be his primary focus.

As it was a LDR if you are genuinely worried about him then maybe contact a family member and ask if they are able to check on him (without absolutely no expectation of them being a go between)

Look after yourself OP, do you have some people you can spend time with to support you? Don't be too hard on yourself, its always difficult when a relationship ends particularly when it isn't a mutual decision.

He sent me an email. He sounded like a different person.

If you’re concerned for his MH, contact a friend and / or family member to explain your concerns about this, as a PP suggests, just the once. It’s sad but given his decision there’s not much else you can do.

Your MH needs to be your priority right now.

Also, this is harsh, but you’re 33. If you don’t have DC and would like DC in the future you don’t have much time to waste with or upset about someone who, for whatever reason, may not be in a position to or wish to have a serious relationship. If you don’t want DC then there is much less pressure to “move on” emotionally v quickly , but that may still be the best thing.

Dozer she is 33 not 43, that comment about having a child is unnecessary!

If he's gone from ending it to creeping so quickly he's going to keep blowing hot and cold. Can you bothered with an emotional roller coaster for a relationship?

Hi op. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I was dumped in what I came to think of as a kind of dumping hit and run by the first person I ever truly loved over 11 yrs ago now. We had been together 4 years, I had known him for 8 yrs. It was terrible- he just vanished out of my life. It felt like physical pain.

The good news is that it gets better. The bad news is it takes time. I still- despite being very happily married with kids and not often thinking of the man in question in my waking life- have dreams where he’s on the other side of a busy road or a plate glass window and I can’t get to him. I know that’s because it was never really resolved. I’ve had therapy and am fine now but it took me a good year to be anything approaching okay.

My advice is to give yourself time, invest in some therapy and don’t jump into another relationship too fast. I compounded my misery by getting involved with someone else too quickly who liked me much more than I liked him which just heaped misery on top of misery.

Be kind to yourself.

If he's gone from ending it to creeping so quickly he's going to keep blowing hot and cold. Can you bothered with an emotional roller coaster for a relationship?

You're right. I don't know that I can deal with this. I have enough going on in my life that I don't think I can handle this as well. I do love him but I don't think I can do that again.

I'm a lot better now but I had two days where I could hardly stop shaking or crying. I feel pathetic, I've never experienced anything like that before.

Thank you everyone for the kind responses and for sharing your stories. It really helped.

You were once married. How long were you single for, before you met this DP?

The problem is that you were seeing one side of him, which you loved, then saw another side of him which you didn't. Both of these are him - this is the way he is. You've known him for a year - which is long enough to fall in love with him, but it's clear it wasn't long enough to see him in lots of different situations.

A long distance relationship can be so intense because of the focus on talking rather than doing things together. I can see why you fell for him so quickly and how hard it can be to recognise you didn't really know the whole person. For example, he might be a person who always has mood swings. People who do often deny they do. If you'd known him longer and had lived with him, you might have seen that again and again. You're seeing them for the first time - it doesn't mean it's the first time he's experienced them.

In a way it can be easier that it was a LDR because you won't bump into him, but of course you are left with the hours when you would have been chatting to him. You need to fill those hours and to remove the temptation of your phone. And if he does unblock you, always remember he did block you. Remember you are seeing another side to him, one you dislike. Don't block that memory if he does get back in touch.