Hello, I won't bore you with the backstory to my narcissistic mother, but about 7 years she said things so horrific that I said I didn't want to be in contact with her except if she was ill, for b-days and xmas, or if something significant happened. But that I loved her. Unfortunately, without apologising, in fact making it seem like it is ME who has been forgiven, I have been coerced into spending time with her (by golden child) and the abuse, though less blatant and frequent, continues. I have tried to maintain a facade that I can cope. But I can't. Her company and phone calls have my adrenalin pumping and I am in tears when I put down the phone. She may not be saying anything blatantly wrong but every story is about how much better other people are than me. I can't control the impact it has on me physiologically. I have said, numerous times, I would prefer if you didn't call me., unless you need something. IN fact when I answered this week I said 'whats wrong?" and she said, "does there need to be something wrong for me to call you" and I said "well yes" and she launched into soliliquies aboute the fabulousness of herself and other people's children. I was raging inside, and wrung out. To say I can't speak to you again will result in more accusations of me being mentally ill, and struck out of the will. Is there any point explaining how I feel? How do I go no contact/minimum without causing another nuclear attack involving extended friends and family? How do I minimise collateral damage? If this specific element of my question has been answered before I am happy to be directed to the correct part of a thread - I have been reading through but find a lot about behaviours of NPD and being NC, or decinding to go NC, but not HOW. Thank you