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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Conversation after we kissed

7 replies

Flairhead · 18/01/2018 00:38

Long time poster, have name changed to cover naivety!

So, a few weeks ago during a Christmas night out, I ended up kissing a guy from work. I don't know him very well, although I do like him well enough, but he basically told me he fancied me, we had a bit of a dance, some hugs, kisses on cheeks, then I guess one thing led to another and we had a proper kiss.

I was a bit drunk so I went home shortly after and have only seen him briefly once since, we made awkward conversation, wished each other merry Christmas and that was it.

I don't see this guy very often, in fact when I do see him it's usually on nights out. He works on a different shift to me normally but for the next few weeks I'm working on his shift, so chances are I'm going to run into him.

Now I'm fairly recently out of a long term relationship, I was with my ex for 12 years, so I'm not well practiced in post kissing etiquette! But I feel like the kissing needs to be acknowledged between us so we can move past the awkward stage and try to get back to normal. How would I even start with it though?

I'm not sure if I've developed feelings for him, obviously I've been thinking about him a lot so it might just be something to do with that, but at the same time I don't think I'd say no to it happening again as it was pretty good.

I know I've rambled a bit but any advice on how to speak to him like a normal person would be much appreciated!

OP posts:
SoleBizzz · 18/01/2018 00:43

You do not acknowledge what has happened between you. You owe him nothing. How you feel now will be a zillion times worse if you do continue with your work colleague and things between you turns sour.

Flairhead · 18/01/2018 00:53

So I just act like it never happened? Seems a bit rude to be honest given he told me he has feelings for me, I don't want him to feel like I'm ignoring that as that must have taken balls for him to say.

OP posts:
TanteRose · 18/01/2018 01:14

So he's definitely single?
why not ask him out for a coffee or a drink?

I know people say "don't shit where you eat" but I met my DH at work - sat next to him when I was working at his office (one day a week) and we've been married over 20 years now.

Smile
Flairhead · 18/01/2018 01:29

Yes, he's definitely single, nothing on his Facebook to say otherwise anyway! The thing is I'm not sure of my own feelings yet, and I don't want to get his hopes up either in case they end up dashed. I feel like I just want to be able to chat to him normally but I kind of want to know how he feels about what happened as well. Never had a conversation about that before so I don't know where to start. God I'm 31 and sound like a teenager!

OP posts:
TanteRose · 18/01/2018 01:33

Okay well yeah, just chat to him normally.
Be friendly like you are always are and see where it goes.

Don't overthink!

Flairhead · 18/01/2018 01:45

Haha yeah I overthink everything, I'm terrible for that! Hopefully I'll be fine if and when I do see him!

OP posts:
Changedname3456 · 18/01/2018 07:12

Just tell him you enjoyed the kiss and ask him if you can reset things and get to know each other a bit better, to see where it leads. Ask him to meet for a coffee and then treat it like normal dating.

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