Started with feelings for my friend.

[se7enthings]

Bit of a long one, been friends with a guy for almost a year, really confided in eachother and seem to care about eachother. Anyway we went out last night and ended up sleeping with eachother.

He has feelings for me and seems to get jealous if I have any dates, but doesn’t want a girlfriend.
I can’t just be friends with this guy and I’m not gonna continue but I’m tempted because of feelings. He’s text me today and I’ve not replied.

Please tell me if I’m doing the right thing, or is it worth the risk to just try be friends

How about you tell him how you feel and see what way the land lies?

We’ve had the discussion before, doesn’t want a girlfriend yet

If you be friends it will probably be FWB which sounds like exactly what he is hoping for.

I think so too, but can you even be FWB with feelings, I very much doubt it

In that case cut him loose op.

I need to stop going for men who are unavailable

No best not to be as if he gets a Gf and drops you. I find a lot of guys say they "don't want a girlfriend" but I think that translate as they don't want you as a gf (not meaning to sound rude) just that I've heard that one before then they go on to get a gf.

That is true, he doesn’t know I have any feelings for him so did just say “I don’t want a girlfriend for about 2 years at least” in passing, I’m such a sneak I don’t give anything away

It's really not that he doesn't want a girlfriend, as pp said he doesn't want you as a girlfriend just a FB! If you have feelings then cut him out now as he'll drop you like a hot brick when he finds the right person and you will feel used and abandoned.

You’re all so full of sense, you’re restraining me from replying hahaha

Oh he says he has feelings for you, has sex but isn't ready for a relationship? Uh-huh. He's keeping you on a string and available to him. It's not a nice thing to do.

You said it was just a passing comment though? So it wasn't in response to you telling him you have feelings for him?

If you're planning to ditch the friendship because it's too hard anyway you don't have anything to lose by being honest.

I dunno how to end the friendship. Either just ghost mode or explain.

Just explain how you feel. You absolutely cannot be FWB if you have feelings for him and this isn't reciprocated.

Good luck

I’m so gullible. Me and my last boyfriend were friends and I liked him for ages until he reciprocated, like 3 years.

I have a stupid little voice in my head saying “wait it out look what happened last time” but I know I’m gonna get hurt.

If he's a friend don't ghost him.
A simple explanation that, you have feelings for him and are not prepared to be hurt so you are ending the friendship, should do it.

I don’t have good self esteem, and I’m easily persuaded so the reason I was ghosting was that if I say how I feel he might persuade me to try be friends and I’m not good at saying no

Then ghost him. Do what's best for you - I think he's messing with your head with the whole being jealous/I have feelings for you but don't want relationship push and pull thing he's got going on. Persuading you to "stay friends" would just give him a way to keep that going. Ghost.

He’s text me again saying he feels bad because I’m so nice to him. Fuck sake