I am in a relationship with a narcissist I think. I was reading a lot about this condition and I am still confused. The point is I feel lonely when it comes to this relationship due to lack of real interest in getting know me and my environment. The only thing he does I have an impression is choosing the right time slots in my life (see child free weekends) and do interesting and relaxing things these times. During 8 months of dating lots happened, I have lost my job then 5 months ago needed to relocate and the distance now is over 2h drive. I have small children, he is 16 years older than me and has lots of freedom and a nice lifestyle.
He calls me usually 1/day and we have max 3 mins conversation. It is difficult to keep him much longer. He asks but does not speak much about him even if I ask lots of questions I can hear Yes or No... He is not opening his mind and emotions what I find difficult.
We like each other and enjoy spending time together however saying that I can see some strange behaviours. The most recent one was when he came down for 2 days to see me after my 2 week holiday at my family abroad. He must have been a bit disappointed that our plans of him joining me over there did not work out. I had my 4 year old with methese 2 days and working during the day leaving him sleeping when leaving morning time for 7 hours. In the meantime he seemed to be hapy to explore the area etc and when I was back after work I was trying to make him comfortable by giving him space and playing with my boy upstairs for some time. I was in shock when 6 days later when we spoke about why he was ignoring me I was told he did not get a boost from me and he was feeling very lonely being in my house when I was busy doing mum's daily activities. He did not give me a sign of it earlier, only saying he needs to drive back home at 6 am so that he can see his doctor at 8 or 9 am. He was a bit misearable and did not sleep well these 2 nights and it was making sense for him to return home and have some quiet and recovering time. A day before when he sais he would leave early I asked if he could take my son and give him a lift to his dad but he never replied and just left... I am a bit in pieces although we had a conversation yesterday and he seems to be very sensitive when it comes to any criticism - he says it hurts. I need to acknowledge I am not good with words and I am extra carefull when I talk to him but emotions don't help here.
We agreed we need to talk face to face. It is hard for me to understand him and seriously I think he is very much about himself. Now spending the rest of his month long holiday doing things he likes like pottering around the house, walking, cycling or fixing his car. He seems to be content. And he is not taking me on board at all when I talk about my feelings of disappointment and write letters to him.
Shall I just cut out everything or have a phase where I should try to limit even more sessions we see each other. I don't know if I can benefit from the latter, although it could help me to chill out a bit and have some more thoughts.