Inappropriate friend behaviour

[sevenatenine3]

Hi, Im married female. I have a close friendship with a man for years. All very well until recently when he told me that I was looking amazing, that i was a MILF ???There is no change in his behaviour towards me...just these words.Im going through a hard time recently, he has been supportive and very generous with hugging..and then as he was comforting me recently said, you know Im mad about you ....but I dont think he meant it romantically.He would love to meet a lady and is actively dating..could anybody tell me whats going on here???Am I overthinking that there is some motive in this or would you talk to a friend like this?

He fancies you.
For him, he wants more than just a platonic relationship with you.

He told you he was mad about you.

Surely you know by this alone.

When you talk about going through a ‘hard time’ recently, is that with your marriage? If so I would say he’s angling to take your husband’s place 😬

you know Im mad about you ....but I dont think he meant it romantically.

So in what other possible way could he have meant it??????

The real question is why is any of this relevant TO YOU? you are married! so therefore not available or are you?

Milf could have been a joke, I’m mad about you not so much. He’s interested.

Im mad about you can mean a term of endearment around my parts..not always romantically. He wouldnt want to go near me romanticallyI would have thought. Im years older than him, have a difficult life with a child who has significant difficulties. I find it hard to believe that this is no more than an ego boost for me knowing that home life at the moment is a sad place to be.Why would he start saying these things after years and years of genuine platonic friendship??i now have to wonder if I have to distance myself from him!

Im mad about you can mean a term of endearment around my parts

What are you doing, a married woman letting another man around your parts?

But in seriousness, where do you live where "I'm mad about you" is merely a term of endearment???

I'd say "I'm mad about you" to friends. I'd also say most of the other stuff to my friends too.

But none of that would be out of character for me/within our friendships. It's the fact that this is just starting after years of not being normal and it's causing you to wonder which indicates that something else might be going on here.

Yep I would say that he fancies you. If he says anything again I would say to him that for you it is crossing a line and that you are purely a platonic friend and that he will have to take a step back on the feelings front.

The fact that you have started a thread indicates that you are uncomfortable and that something has changed.

You know what you have to do.

I'd go against the grain, mad about uou also could just be he's trying ro ego boost you, my male friends have called me many things from oldie but a goodie to milf, all done with humour, and yes they get told to fuck off. As you're going through a hard time, maybe he's just trying to make you feel good.

Do you fancy him op? Do you want it to mean more?

I think I agree with bluntness, if his behaviour hasn't changed at all and your not picking up other vibes I think he could just be trying to big you up and tell you you're brilliant.
could you been having some sort of crisis of confidence perhaps?

He's trying to open the doors to more.

How does your husband feel about the fact your friend made the comment?

I suspect you haven't told him this and you need to ask yourself why you haven't told him and why you're on a forum questioning this.

He likes you in a special way.

Sniggering at 'parts'

And your 'parts'

If you are feeling this way, it could be that you have some feelings for him? Tell your dh if you haven't done already, and then you can almost make a joke out of it and you won't feel you need to make boundaries with your friend.

Thanks for your responses. laughing my head off at 'the parts' comment !!!!Anyway , i am in Scotland and that comment about being mad about somebody is common eg Im mad about that song/film/person etc so thats why I thought he might be just kind. He told me that he thought I was looking amazing out of the blue after years of friendship and then over Christmas , at my birthday he told me that he thought i was a milf!. i said that i didnt know whether to give out to him or thank him(jokingly)He said' youre a milf.. there Ive said it and Its an absolute compliment.' His behaviour hasnt changed towards me in one way but he certainly is opening up to me more and seeking out my company/ communication more..He is quite principled so I could never imagine romantic/physical thoughts towards me as I am married but theres just something inside me that is niggling at me.

It's a euphemistic way to say he wants to have a physical relationship with you.

He probably left some ambiguity so that it is up to you to take it further.

Your options are

Agree
Ignore but feel good inside
Rebuke more or less politely
Ask him to clarify (as you did above in this forum)

I’m not sure the consensus here is correct. If he’s a genuine friend, it might just be his way of saying "hey look, you’re a really attractive lady". Letting you know that still desirable. After all most women want to know that. He’s a male, telling you that. But platonically I think. It’s a lovely act if that’s the case.

Nothing you’ve described appears seedy to me. But then again, maybe in the conservative circles predominant in some parts of the Uk, it might be construed as inappropriate.

Agree with others. There are a few things it could be. Trying to boost your morale. Because he genuinely fancies you and now is his chance. What is he like with women?

I don't think he's coming on to you. I think he wants to boost your confidence, as any good friend would.

You're seeing something else in it bcs you're very vulnerable at the mo.

Bleurgh at milf.

This guy's told you you're a Mother I'd Like To Fuck . I'm not sure why you, and some others on here, are pretending not to know what this young man (I guess he's young since you're a milf to him) is after.

I hope your DH isn't on one of the numerous "my partner has opposite sex friend" threads joining in with the people who insist there is NEVER EVER EVER anything in it & anyone who thinks hang on, sometimes there is something in it! is jealous, insecure, controlling yadda yadda.

If you let him fuck you he will. He's told you. 'MILF' isn't what a man says to a woman he wants real relationship with so that's all it is. Unless youre planning to bounce between him and your DH I'd cool down this friendship. If you want to, that is.