Desperately need advice from seperated parents

[Username987]

Hi all. Ok just going to get straight into it. Me and my ex have been split up for seven months he is a very controlling and always has been. My dad lives in America and has surprised me with tickets to go there in June with my daughter.
I spoke to Ex yesterday and he will not give me permission to take it out of the country. He has been threatening overtaxed indirectly!
my question is do I have to have his permission to take care out of the country for 10 days ?
His reason for me not wanting me to take her is that simple fact that he will miss out on seeing her.
He is on the birth certificate but only sees her as and when it suits him and has her overnight once a week - again only if convenient. He doesn't pay a money towards her either!
I cannot afford a solicitor as he took my car off me when we split so all my savings went on buying a new 1.
Please someone help me on what to so. He is still so bitter and is still trying to control my life. I'm not going to lie, I am scared of him to a certain degree.
Also when we moved out mine and dd passport was in the safe which he took so technically he has my passport and dds - I think they're still in there anyway.
Please help. Advice greatly appreciated

Sorry. Terrible spelling, he won't give me permission to take dd out of the country.

Yes, you need a specific issue order giving permission for the holiday, or even better, a live with Child Arrangements Order, which then let's you have holidays abroad up to 28 days without leave.

Self refer to mediation, get the form you need from then, then complete C100, C1A if appropriate (abuse or other welfare concerns) and issue at local family court (court fee £215)

Easy guide and links to forms here

www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce/apply-for-court-order

I think if he’s refusing you can get something called a ‘specific issue order’ where you go before a judge to explain the issue and they will rule if you can take your child abroad. As it’s to see your family I’m pretty sure that will work in your favour. Give it a google, I might be ridiculously wide of the mark there!

If he won’t return passports, just report them lost and get new ones issued rather than trying to get him to cooperate. At the end of the day this is all about him trying to still have control, so you just need to take that away from him.

Do you have Parental Responsibility via the courts? If I remember correctly, the parent with is ok for trips abroad, the one without needs permission from the other.

Ah MrsBert much more informative!

Oh also a specific issue order to give back the passports. Bet he says they are lost, in which case you will have to get replacements.

He’s being an arse. The courts wouldn’t prevent a short holiday. You need to apply for a specific issue order. You can do it yourself quite simply without the need for a solicitor, it costs £200 I think.

It may also be worth applying for child arrangements order so that at least you know where you stand with regarding contact. In future you would be able to take your child out of the country for 28 days without his consent although it would still be advisable to tell him if it affects his contact.

Family solicitor. Also separated parent.

Thank you all for your comments
He is a complete arse I agree. Could think a lot worse words to call him!
I have no problem in taking him to court, it's the only problem I have is the money. He has literally skint me over the last few months. There's no such thing as legal aid anymore is there?

There is such a thing as legal aid. It's been massively reduced though.
If you can prove domestic abuse then you will have a case to get it.
Talk to Womens Aid and Rights of Women and they can help you.

There was no domestic abuse as such. Apart from the fact he was a total idiot.

Most Solicitors still offer a free period of consultation. It's usually half an hour I think. Ring round a few and get yourself an appointment.

Citizens Advice is also another avenue to speak to.

Report the passports as lost and get them re-issued

Why isn't he paying child maintenance?

Can I cancel her passport and then get a new one at a later date without him knowing? He wouldn't play ball if he had to sign any documents.
Google is giving me mixed answers.
He doesn't pay because he doesn't feel like he has it.
He said via text that he pays for her when he has her and that should be enough. 🙄

Is he working? Then it'll be worth chasing him for payment.

Does she have your surname?

TBH I've taken my DD to the states numerous times, she has a different surname to me. I take a copy of her birth certificate with me which clearly says I'm mum. And when questioned where Dad is I say at home at work.

Honestly it's never been a problem.

Yes he works but mentioned that he's self employed so I won't get a penny off him. Also if I go to csa or another place like that the I won't get a penny out of him and daughter will suffer. So he says 🙄

Bluesu - no she has his surname

Well he is talking bullshit for a start. Child maintenance is done through HMRC so they will look to see what he has earnt over the year and then take a % of that as a monthly maintenance to you.

You tell Child maintenance how many nights a week or what ever he has his child (if it's not a regular weekly event then there is a 'less than so many days a year option' ) and they adjust the maintenance according to that. It has to be above a certain amount of days a year that he is having her to reduce payments to you.

You can apply online, it is very easy. He can not get out of paying it as child maintenance will be after him if he misses payments. If he is on the birth certificate then he has a LEGAL obligation to pay for that child.

Stop being soft and taking his word for it.