Scared of my DF

[CatsEyes11]

Wibu not to attend? A close family member recently died. The funeral is currently being organised. However one of the other people very likely to be attending is my father. I was removed from his care as a child (won't say why for fear of being outed) and we haven't had contact in over 15 years. I fear him greatly (even as an adult) and don't wish to see him again. Db (who also hasn't seen him in many years although they do have occasional contact by phone) believes i'm being unreasonable and I should attend. I keep thinking I'm bringing disloyal to the family member that died by not going... But I'm so scared of my father that I'm physically ill at the thought of having to see him again. What should I do?

Sorry for your loss. Skip the funeral. The deceased would not mind, any surviving relatives in attendance that you are close to will understand your reasons I am sure and you can offer support in other ways. Send flowers and your condolences and say goodbye your own way, privately.

Oh definitely skip! You can honour the deceased in your own way xxx

If you could bring yourself to attend, you might claim back the power over your fear, which could be very empowering. But perfectly fine if you want to skip it, the deceased won't know.

I wouldn't. Send a card, or flowers, but don't put yourself through it for the sake of loyalty.

I skipped a funeral of a dear friend recently, because of who would be there, didn't regret it for a moment.

100% skip and don't give it another thought.

Yep I would skip the funeral and pay my respects in my own way. Send nice flowers and a condolences and perhaps visit the place of rest another day on your own. You should not have to put yourself through any more emotional turmoil, the deceased will understand