Ruminating over historical homophobic cyberbullying

[WazFlimFlam]

Over a decade ago I had a falling out with a friend I was living with at the time, where upon she provided my email address to an old mutual school mate of ours (her friend not mine, but we were at school together iyswim), who proceeded to send me some vile, homophobic abuse via email.

I reported the incident to the police at the time who informed me that there was nothing I could do about this, as it was just someone's opinion .

The friend who I had fallen out with and enabled this shit, was utterly furious I had gone to the police and threatened to pursue a 'wasting police time' charge against me, but how she could have done this I do not know.

Is there anything I could do now about this? I have found both their husbands via Facebook and employers via LinkedIn and I am tempted to send them the email exchanges, but is there anything more formal I could do?

It was 10 years ago.Let it go. Nothing to be done now.

I had let it go and completely forgot about it for years, and years and years. Not only the incident but the people involved. Then a memory just flashed up out of nowhere as I was falling asleep last night. Now I am furious that they have gotten away with the lie that they are nice people, and I want it to stop.

Maybe they are nice people now. Maybe they regret what they did.

If you do send malicious messages it's you who will be in trouble with the police now.

I get why you're upset OP - this sort of thing can hurt for years, I know. What dreadful people.

However, you're on thin ice if you approach their employers or husbands, as they can then approach the police for harrassment.

Sometimes it hurts me that people who have abused me in the past have got away with it, I really do get it. But letting this eat you up won't help you. They homophobically abused you. What kind of person does that? You are already better than them.

You obviously are not over it though. Maybe you put it out of your mind for a long time but you are not ‘over it’ or you wouldn’t be so angry about it now.

The online stalking is quite nuts, as is having kept the exchanges and the idea to send them to their employers.

Without knowing what was actually said though it’s a bit hard to judge how upset it would be normal to be or whether the police let you down a decade ago.

Offred I think that is the thing. Homophobic cyberbullying wasn't really recognised as a thing a decade ago. I do feel I was let down by the police and the response would be quite different today. In fact I know it would be as I had a neighbour who's daughter was exposed to similar recently and the police took it very seriously, even though they were all minors.

The people involved were all in their 20s btw so not silly kids.

Do the police look at things that happened historically?

I can't believe you kept those emails for 10 years.
Once you start contacting employers and husbands, it will be you who gets in trouble.

Rebelrogue I honestly hadn't realised I had done until today. I kept them originally in case I received any other abuse from these people and then forgot all about it, until last night.

I looked out of curiosity today, and they were much, much worse than I had actually remembered. I don't even remember being that upset about the homophobic nature of them, just the general nasty abuse, but looking at them in the cold light of 2018 and they are homophobic in a way we just don't really see today.

I think what you need to focus on TBH is doing what is best for you.

I doubt that would be going to the police about some emails from a decade ago that no doubt are not even able to be linked to the people who sent them and who have not been in further contact with you for 10 years!

It definitely wouldn’t be to send copies to their husbands/employers.

I think you need to make peace with it and put it to bed.