My 5 year relationship ended badly last January when my ex cheated on me whilst I was away on holiday. About 2 months later I met someone new online (Badoo), he is almost too good to be true, he is kind, gentle, funny and drop dead gorgeous, we live 40 miles apart but met 2 - 3 times a week initially. He asked me straight away what I was looking for and I said I wasn’t really looking for anything serious but I might if it was with the right person, he said he is looking for a long term partner someone to come home to each night etc. He asked me to be his girlfriend a couple of times but I declined as I had recently come out of a long term relationship and felt it was too soon. We carried on meeting he took me on lovely dates, meals etc. and in October he told me that he loved me and we decided to be a couple.
Before we became official I noticed that on his social media such as Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook he was often adding attractive woman who lived local to him. When I go on Instagram on my activity feed it is mainly him liking various woman's revealing/bikini photo's as with on Facebook which I find disrespectful, also on Instagram he follows 800 attractive woman and adds more most days! I also looked at a message that popped up on his phone and it was a message from one of the woman he added saying "I'll do your eyebrows for you xxx" so he has obviously been pursuing these woman in some way.
I knew he was speaking to these people in the background but sort of ignored it, I did speak to my ex on a regular basis which he of course didn't really know the extent of. I never gave my ex any hope of getting back together or told him that i loved him but he has been going through a really bad time in his life and we both needed closure and decided to try and be friends. This was a sort of tit for tat situation i knew what he was doing, i knew i shouldn't necessarily be doing what i was doing but i wouldn't really lose anything if it came to heads because this guy was lying to me anyway.
Anyway, I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he would stop actively looking for other woman now we were a couple but after 2 months of the same I confronted him and he made out like he didn’t think these things would upset me and that he hadn’t been doing anything wrong. He is constantly online on Social Media and I have a hard time believing he genuinely loves me or has any good intentions when he is actively looking for someone else to be with. I am insecure because of my previous relationship but this doesn’t seem like normal behavior to me. He says I am his world he wants me to move in with him so he can come home to me every night but as soon as my back is turned he is speaking to people behind my back. He says they are not flirty conversations and I am his woman but I find it hard to believe. Why would he be asking to meet someone for her to do his eyebrows for a start!! What I don’t understand is if he wanted to meet other woman why didn’t he just leave our relationship casual the way it was instead of pressuring me to be exclusive with him? Is he the cat who got the cream?
He always does all of the pursuing and I rarely message him first but I am the one who drives to his house 90% of the time (he works 2 hours from my house and has a dog which he can’t bring to sleep at my house), we used to go for nice meals and on nice day trips but now i usually bring him dinner and we stay in and don't do much, am I convenient to him or being strung along? What does this man want from me if anything? Also how wrong is it of me to be speaking to my ex casually?
I have split up with this guy because actions speak louder than words, I dont want to get hurt again but i also dont want to chuck away the best thing to happen to me in a long time... also i am scared that i have ruined everything by speaking to my ex behind his back anyway. Advice anyone please!