Hi everyone. I'm new here and I just really need somewhere where I can get some support and not be judged because today is a low day.
I'll try and give you some background info, I'm sorry if it's confusing.
When I was 14 I got with my first ever boyfriend. He was 17 at the time. When I was 20 he suddenly dumped me out of the blue. I had just found out that I was pregnant (The baby was not planned) and he just never came home from work. I tried so hard to get in touch with him and make him care. I had abuse off of his family members, they called me all the names under the sun and claimed it was a disgusting liar. They didn't think I was actually pregnant, because my ex had told them I wasn't. Apparently my pregnancy was all made up and I'd done it just to keep him. 3 years later, my son is proof that it was never made up.
He didn't see me at all throughout my pregnancy and in that time I met my current, wonderful fiance but we will get onto him later. He's a total gem of a man who has taken my son on as his own.
After my son was born he agreed he'd meet us and sign the birth certificate. Long story short, of course he never showed up to meet us and never signed the certificate. I decided I'd claim child support from him because during all of this, he was totally living it up, brand new car, always out drinking - all whilst me and new partner were struggling. My fiance did NOT want me to claim child support but I felt if I didn't then my ex would be getting away with things. It actually all ended in my ex being made to take a paternity test and that's how we got our child support payments.
So it's 3 years on, I'm now engaged (As I said above) to the same man who took my son and myself on. We have a 6 month old little girl now and our own house. We're doing pretty good, but I still feel shit.
I'm majorly scarred due to what my ex did to me and my son. I think about how he dumped me pregnant every single day and not a single part of me misses him or wants him back, but it's as though a part of my brain is still in shock over it. He wasn't an evil boyfriend when we were together at all, so that added to everyones confusion over the situation. He was very supportive to my already weak mental health (I was sexually abused as a little girl) and he was genuinely my best friend. All for him to just never come home from work one day and refuse to acknowledge his son.
I decided to post here because yesterday I had a blow, again due to my ex. I was getting a takeaway as fiance was working nights, I figured I'd treat myself and DS. We're sat waiting for the food and who walks in? My ex and his PREGNANT girlfriend. I know from gossip (Unneeded, but still gossip) that he's only been with her for about 8 months. This girl was easily about 6 months along.
He saw all three of us, threw out a dirty look and then blanked us. He even put his arm around his new girlfriend in a very clear attempt to upset me further. His girlfriend looked towards us but she clearly had no idea who I was. I did see her looking at DS, and I hate to say it but he is the spitting image of his sperm donor. My ex clearly has never told her about me or his son. I SPENT 6 YEARS WITH THIS GUY.
I could feel the adrenaline pumping through me but thankfully I decided not to punch him in the face. I'm not a violent person at all but I was so, so angry. I realised that if I'd done something stupid however, that I'd have really upset my LOs and potentially had the police called. I'm not gaining a criminal record over someone like that.
After I got both LOs to bed that night I had to have a private cry. I told fiance about it the next morning and he was sympathetic (As he always is) but his response to me was "Why are you still so beat up over him? He's a waste of space and you know that (DS) has only ever been my son and he doesn't need to know about any half siblings that belong to his sperm donor, he's going to have lots of little brothers and sisters thanks to us" - I totally appreciate how he feels but sometimes I just NEED to get this shit storm off of my shoulders. I can't believe someone I spent years with could be so cruel.
The thing that makes me as angry is that my ex clearly had issues with ME and not my son. If he has stuck around to raise his new girlfriends baby then why didn't he want to be a part of my sons life? He told me after he had left me that he hadn't loved me for a long time and that he 'actually disliked me' - why take that out on a baby? I never did a thing wrong to him in our relationship, but my son did even less.
I just need someone to talk to I suppose. I am going to go to my doctors next week and ask for counselling because my feelings are getting no better. I feel the luckiest lady alive to have my wonderful fiance and our two babies so people don't understand when I say I'm still hurt over my ex. I just wish someone would understand.