Marriage over

[Gossipqueen14]

Together 14 years married 4...1 DC...early 30s.

I adore my husband but the past year I just don't feel like he feels the same about me anymore. Anytime we argue it's my fault and I have to be the one to apologise to smooth things over, but it feels like he goads me into arguemdnts. I don't think there is OW.

His work mates are younger than him and don't have any commitments. So when they go out every fortnight he can't go he maybe goes out with them once every 8 weeks...but i feel he cares more about them than us.

I have a feeling he will leave this year so how do I prepare myself? I've asked him what's going on and he says nothing all fine he's quite emotionally closed off.

I cry most days as I feel lonely...this year we were meant to try for dc2 but I can tell he isn't fussed 😩 I need to prepare myself finance isn't an issue...it's more my emotional and mental health I'm worried about

Oh man, that sounds pretty hard. You say you feel he goads you into arguments; that sounds to me like there's something eating at him. Something he knows you would react badly to, so he tries to make you be horrible. Why? Because he can't bear to be the bad guy against a background of you being relatively blameless. If he can say, well you've been horrible too, it balances whatever he's going to own up to.
That's not very nice maybe, but it's my experience of a partner provoking rows when there's no obvious cause. So I'd try to short-circuit that game and try to get him to tell you straight what's eating him. If he denies it, then tell him the goading has to stop. It's just emotional manipulation.

Totally agree with ed, sorry you're going through this OP

Would he do marriage counselling?

Could you express your concerns in a letter to him?

If you really think he's going to end it.... how about a heart to heart where you suggest a separation.

You say his heart isn't in it ... tell him you feel that and this is why you're saying it.

He's either checked out of the marriage or has an OW or both.

I've asked him to go to marriage counselling he refuses as he says there is nothing wrong.

Our sex life is still very good...but the emotional connection is just gone. If I ask him does he love me he says 'you know I do' but he never says it of his own accord.

I was thinking ow but checked his phone email etc and there's nothing there...even tonight while he's at work I rang him on his break and about 30sec in after I told him something funny that had happened and we. It's laughed he went 'what is it you want anyway'and before I replied he hung up

You may also want to have a social life that doesn't include him. You need something for yourself to be doing. Be an interesting person for yourself and don't rely on him for your entertainment.

If nothing else...you'll have an interest for yourself if he leaves.

Focus on you and your children..... don't pander to him or walk on eggshells... you deserve better than this.

Tbf I have a great circle of friends and family...I have always made sure to keep my friends and see them regularly

If he definitely won't engage them I think you're wasting your ti me.
Big girl's pants needed. Do you really think that his hanging up on you is acceptable?
And why would you think he will change

No I'm
Just used to him hanging up on me...he's still asleep our DS came into our room this morning and must have lifted his phone and set it st my side of the bed. I woke up to h leaning over me grabbing the phone and saying 'right that's it I'm changing my pssscode'

It wasn't until I fully woke up I
Asked what was wrong and he said you know exactly what you done. I don't even have the energy today to argue just feel drained